You've worked hard to build the life you have. So why does it feel like something's missing — or worse, like you're stuck?

Here's the uncomfortable truth: the very things you're gripping tightest might be exactly what's keeping you from the life you actually want.

In this episode, Stephanie and Maren go down the rabbit hole with Alice in Wonderland to uncover her secret of letting go and explore the powerful (and often misunderstood) relationship between trust and surrender.

Inspired by a clip from renowned Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön, they unpack the difference between surrender and weakness and explore the metaphor of Alice falling down the rabbit hole -with curiosity instead of terror- to show what it could look like to stop white-knuckling your way through change and start trusting the process.

The life you're dreaming of is not about doing more or climbing another mountain, it's actually about going inward and making space and embracing curiosity. It’s about discovery.

Key Takeaways

• Surrender isn't weakness — it's courage. Real surrender means trusting and that trust has to be built. It's a practice, not a personality trait.
• Your resistance to change is normal. Just like a caterpillar literally dissolves before becoming a butterfly, your inner immune system will fight transformation. That discomfort doesn't mean you're failing — it means you're becoming.
• The thoughts that fill your head aren't you. Write them down — I'm too old, I don't have time, it's too late — and look at them. What you witness loses its grip.
• Scrolling, snacking, and staying busy are false escapes. They give you the feeling of relief without building the actual capacity to sit with discomfort. The real practice is learning to be uncomfortable — consciously and on purpose.
• Stillness is not the same as doing nothing. Listening inward, tracking what your body is telling you, asking what is this asking of me? — that IS the work. And it changes everything in your outer world.

We'd love to hear where you are with this. Are you in the free fall right now? Grabbing for every branch on the way down? Or have you found your wings?

Find us on Facebook and LinkedIn (links below) — and come tell us your story.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it — and subscribe so you never miss an episode.

TRANSCRIPT

YouTube Video

REFERENCES:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnObGF4WQkE

23:21 Pick Your Hard

26:29 Inner Mastery

Love this episode? Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts—it helps other soulful leaders find us!

Have a question or topic suggestion? We'd love to hear from you. Reach out through our website or social media.

📬 Connect With Us
Website: www.TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Main Website: www.tslp.life

Find us on:

• YouTube: @soulfulleaders
• LinkedIn: The Soulful Leaders
• Facebook: The Soulful Leaders

Newsletter: Get our weekly newsletter 'Shift Happens' with tips, tricks, and insights to uplevel your life and leadership, plus notifications of new podcast releases and blog posts. Sign up at www.tslp.life

Do you ever feel trapped between going all-in (the constant go, go, go, go), or needing to check out (the I've earned it, I've put in my time, I'm just I'm done.)

You are NOT alone.

The secret that no one tells us - there IS another option.

Society teaches us to push, push, push — in business, in relationships, in life — which works for awhile. Then we crash and burn, and all too often, that frustration turns inward. Well, there’s good news, in today’s episode, Stephanie and Maren share an alternative path. They unpack one of the most overlooked leadership skills: the difference between presence and pressure.

• Why does our culture reward relentless doing while quietly starving the roots that sustain us?
• What does it actually look like to slow down without checking out?

Stephanie and Maren tackle these questions, and more, through real stories, honest reflection, and a few unexpected analogies (think: scuba diving, lawnmowers, and Will Smith). The "go-go-go then crash" cycle is real and this conversation will give you tools to not end up as just another statistic.

Tangible, actionable practices will help you shift out of the all-or-nothing loop, reconnect you to what you love and help you find actual fulfillment in your life.

If you've ever felt like you're running on empty yet can't seem to stop, this episode is for you.---

Resources & References Mentioned

17:14 - Collateral Beauty (2016) — starring Will Smith, Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren

- https://amzn.to/4mODUja

22:10 - Rumi — "Meet it at the doorway" reference

21:06 & 27:00 - Saint Francis of Assisi — the practice of giving inward first, then to a stranger

Enjoyed This Episode?

If this resonated with you, the best thing you can do is **share it with someone who needs it** — and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more soulful leaders find their way to this conversation.

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“You cannot give somebody what you think they need. You can only give yourself what you need.” — Stephanie Allen

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TRANSCRIPT

YouTube Video

Love this episode? Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts—it helps other soulful leaders find us!

Have a question or topic suggestion? We'd love to hear from you. Reach out through our website or social media.

📬 Connect With Us
Website: www.TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Main Website: www.tslp.life

Find us on:

• YouTube: @soulfulleaders
• LinkedIn: The Soulful Leaders
• Facebook: The Soulful Leaders

Newsletter: Get our weekly newsletter 'Shift Happens' with tips, tricks, and insights to uplevel your life and leadership, plus notifications of new podcast releases and blog posts. Sign up at www.tslp.life

You did everything right. You climbed the mountain, hit the milestones, checked all the boxes — and then you got there and thought... is this really it?

That quiet emptiness at the top of success is something nobody warns you about. In this episode, Stephanie and Maren get honest about why achieving your goals can feel like the loneliest moment of your life — and what's actually missing. Spoiler: it's not another goal. It's the inner work that most of us were never taught to do.

From Alex Hormozi's "apathy problem" to the woman who thought her gift was numbers (it wasn't), this conversation will have you rethinking what success actually means — and how to make it feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

Key Takeaways

• Success can feel empty when it's built on someone else's prescription. When we follow the "right house, right car, right job" formula without checking in with our own longings, we arrive at the top of a mountain that was never ours to climb.
• Your gifts and your skills are not the same thing. You may have built skills to survive or fit in — but your true gifts are the things that come so naturally you've probably dismissed them entirely.
• Your inner world creates your outer reality. Most of us are unconsciously running on autopilot. Pausing to ask what do I actually need? — emotionally, mentally, spiritually — changes everything.
• Identity is not static. Who you are right now doesn't have to be who you stay. Growth requires updating the story you tell yourself about yourself.
• Simple practices create profound shifts. Evening journaling, flow writing, asking better questions — these aren't soft extras. They're how you access the magic that your conscious mind filters out.

Referenced in This Episode

- Alex Hormozi — entrepreneur and investor who openly discussed his "apathy problem" after achieving significant outer success

- Vicki Keith (Ep. 150) — Neurodiversity is Your Superpower (https://thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com/2024/05/28/150-neurodiversity-is-your-superpower-with-vicki-keith/) — referenced in the conversation around ADHD as a gift, not a deficit

- Morning Pages / Flow Writing — a journaling practice (popularized by Julia Cameron's *The Artist's Way*) that Maren uses as evening pages to access subconscious insight

TRANSCRIPT

YouTube Video

Love this episode? Rate and review us on Apple Podcasts—it helps other soulful leaders find us!

Have a question or topic suggestion? We'd love to hear from you. Reach out through our website or social media.

📬 Connect With Us
Website: www.TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Main Website: www.tslp.life

Find us on:

• YouTube: @soulfulleaders
• LinkedIn: The Soulful Leaders
• Facebook: The Soulful Leaders

Newsletter: Get our weekly newsletter 'Shift Happens' with tips, tricks, and insights to uplevel your life and leadership, plus notifications of new podcast releases and blog posts. Sign up at www.tslp.life