This week on Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoë sit down with Blake Wellen, case manager at Illinois Recovery Center, for a conversation about treatment, recovery, compassion fatigue, and what it looks like to care for people when they’re walking through one of the hardest seasons of their lives.
Blake doesn’t identify as an alcoholic or addict, but he grew up around addiction and found himself pulled into the recovery world through his family, his work at IRC, and a genuine love for helping people. He talks about starting at IRC as a night tech, working his way through different roles, and eventually becoming a case manager helping clients build a real plan for life after inpatient treatment.
They get into why discharge planning starts on day one, why 30 days is rarely enough, how sober living and outpatient care can change the outcome, and why people leaving treatment need more than good intentions. They need support, structure, and people who believe they can make it.
Also in this episode: small-town Illinois stories, Highland chaos, wedding fights, compassion fatigue, therapy, the “jar of f*cks,” and why sometimes the real work starts after treatment ends.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Sponsors
02:17 - Meet Blake Wellen
03:16 - Blake’s perspective on addiction and treatment
08:44 - The early days of Illinois Recovery Center
15:59 - Compassion fatigue and learning how to recharge
18:02 - Blake’s role as a case manager
25:16 - Discharge planning starts on day one
27:54 - Sober living, funding barriers, and resources
29:54 - Why 30 days usually isn’t enough
31:17 - The real work starts after treatment
35:25 - Helping clients feel like they’re not alone
37:15 - The jar of f*cks
38:12 - Slowing down and letting go of control
40:52 - Finding a calling in recovery work
41:55 - Blake’s fiancée and wedding planning
48:04 - The Coyote Ugly wedding brawl
57:20 - Falling in love with the work at IRC
1:06:22 - Trying to build a life in this economy
1:12:02 - Four-wheelers, concussions, and trauma
1:16:46 - Why outpatient care matters
1:19:04 - Therapy doesn’t give you all the answers
1:24:03 - What families should know about treatment
SPONSORS:
Thank you to our sponsors, McKelvey Insurance Group and LightSource.
McKelvey Insurance Group
http://mckelveyins.com
LightSource
http://findyourlightsource.com
DISCLAIMER:
This podcast shares personal stories and conversations about recovery, mental health, addiction, and life. It is not a substitute for professional help. If you need support, visit pondoffsanonymous.com and contact us.

Jakob Miller Is Back: Treatment, Harm Reduction, and the Hard Truth About Getting Clean

Jakob Miller is back in the studio for a classic Pondoff’s Anonymous drive-by episode...which means the conversation starts somewhere ridiculous and somehow ends up getting very real.

Chris, Zoë, Jeff, and Jakob talk through what’s new in Jakob’s life, the work happening at Illinois Recovery Center, and some of the bigger conversations happening in recovery right now: ibogaine, ketamine treatment, Suboxone, methadone, Vivitrol, naltrexone, harm reduction, detox, fentanyl, Adderall abuse, and what it actually takes to help someone get clean.

Jakob shares his perspective from both lived experience and working in treatment, especially around the idea that harm reduction can save lives, but it shouldn’t become the final destination. The group also talks about ACEs, trauma, recovery structure, medication-assisted treatment, and why real recovery usually requires more than just one tool.

It’s honest, funny, uncomfortable, scattered in the best way, and full of the kind of recovery talk that makes this show what it is.

Topics include:

- Jakob’s return to the studio

- Marriage, family, and life after stepping back from the show

- The protest at a sensory-friendly Easter service

- Ibogaine, ketamine, and psychedelic-assisted treatment

- Suboxone, methadone, Vivitrol, and naltrexone

- Fentanyl detox and precipitated withdrawal

- Harm reduction before and after treatment

- Adderall abuse and stimulant addiction

- ACEs, trauma, and childhood adversity

- Why recovery requires structure, support, and honesty

This episode is brought to you by McKelvey Insurance Group.

If you’ve ever felt confused or overwhelmed by insurance, McKelvey Insurance Group keeps it simple. They’re an independent agency, which means they compare options from multiple providers to find coverage that actually fits you and your needs...not just one company’s policy.

Call Evan McKelvey at McKelvey Insurance Group at 618-623-0080 or visit:

https://mckelveyins.com

This episode is also brought to you by LightSource Psychotherapy.

What do we need when we’re in the dark? Sometimes it’s simply just a light source.

Find out more at:

http://findyourlightsource.com

And don’t forget Light in the Dark, the Pondoff’s Anonymous dark roast created with our friends at Long Story Coffee. Every bag helps support the conversations and community behind the show.

Order online at:

https://pondoffsanonymous.com/coffee

Pondoff’s Anonymous is hosted by Chris Pondoff with Zoë Mendenall and Jeff Allen. Produced, engineered, mixed, and filmed by Jeff Allen. Recorded at Illinois Recovery Center in the Pondoff’s Anonymous Studio.

Music by McCall. The track is “Anti-Hero.”

This podcast shares stories and conversations. It is not a substitute for professional help. If you need support, visit:

https://pondoffsanonymous.com

Content note: This episode contains discussion of addiction, overdose, assault, suicidal ideation, homelessness, and other traumatic experiences. Please take care while listening.

Alyssa Jarvis joins us to talk about faith, rejection, trauma, addiction, recovery, forgiveness, and the long road to building a new life. This is a heavy one, but it’s also full of honesty, resilience, and hope.

Special thanks to our sponsors:

McKelvey Insurance Group

https://mckelveyins.com

Light Source Psychotherapy

http://findyourlightsource.com

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

01:33 Personal Stories and Connections

02:59 Faith and Spiritual Journeys

06:06 Navigating Identity and Acceptance

11:56 Challenges of Homelessness and Addiction

20:00 Support Systems and Resilience

21:17 Navigating Adolescence and School Challenges

22:14 The Role of Xanax in Coping with Trauma

25:00 Understanding Addiction and Recovery

27:06 The Impact of Loss on Substance Use

33:15 The Journey of Forgiveness and Healing

46:29 The Drugging Incident

49:21 The Aftermath of Assault

50:46 Realizations and Consequences

51:05 First Treatment Experience

53:39 Escalation of Addiction

54:30 Overdoses and Near-Death Experiences

56:18 Friendship and Betrayal

01:01:10 Rock Bottom and Awakening

01:11:25 The Call for Help

01:14:02 Journey to Treatment

01:17:00 Entering Recovery

01:20:30 Finding Purpose in Pain

01:24:29 Navigating Relationships in Recovery

01:30:05 The Challenges of Motherhood

01:34:38 The Birth Experience

01:35:23 The Birth of Harley and Early Challenges

01:38:01 Navigating Single Parenthood

01:39:29 Finding Stability and Employment

01:41:41 The Journey to Recovery and New Beginnings

01:45:03 Building Community and Support

01:49:01 Spiritual Growth and Connection

01:57:06 Empowering Others Through Experience

John Nettles joins Pondoff’s Anonymous for a real conversation about addiction, relapse, treatment, and what it actually takes to build a life that lasts. Originally from the St. Louis area and now living in California, John talks about growing up in Chesterfield, getting pulled into sports, nightlife, and the EDM scene, and how alcohol and drugs slowly took over everything.

This episode gets into the messy reality of addiction...the false starts, the treatment attempts that didn’t stick, the consequences, and the slow shift from just surviving to actually changing. John also opens up about the recovery community that helped him, the grief and relationships he’s had to navigate sober, and what it means to find purpose after years of chaos.

John is the Director of Alumni Relations at Refine Recovery in Sherman Oaks, California, where he helped build the alumni program to keep people connected and supported after treatment. He also hosts his own podcast, Recovery Refined, where he talks with guests about recovery, identity, adversity, and growth.

If you’re in California and need help, check out Refine Recovery:

https://refinerecovery.com/contact/

Check out John’s podcast, Recovery Refined:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-refined/id1867828182

Sponsors:

A big thank you to our sponsors. We couldn’t do this without them.

McKelvey Insurance Group

https://www.mckelveyins.com/

Light Source

https://findyourlightsource.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships

04:57 California's Treatment Landscape

11:06 Community Support and Recovery Initiatives

20:00 Growing Up in Chesterfield and Sports Background

25:19 Sports Culture and Personal Anecdotes

29:43 The Journey into Addiction

30:51 Treatment Programs and Their Impact

34:15 Navigating Recovery and Relapse

39:09 Building a Supportive Recovery Community

44:37 Comedy Night and Personal Reflections

46:11 Navigating Family Dynamics and Addiction

47:47 The Struggles of Early Adulthood and Substance Use

49:31 The Intersection of Substance Use and Nightlife

51:27 Geographic Changes and Their Impact on Addiction

54:43 The Escalation of Addiction and Its Consequences

57:27 The Turning Point: Realizations and Relationships

01:00:00 The Journey to Sobriety and Its Challenges

01:02:51 Facing the Consequences of Addiction

01:05:18 The Cycle of Sobriety and Relapse

01:10:03 Societal Views on Alcohol and Addiction

01:13:20 Moments of Willingness and Seeking Help

01:19:06 The Impact of Family and Relationships on Recovery

01:22:43 Reconnecting and Building Relationships

01:25:11 The Role of Pets in Recovery

01:30:02 The Journey to Treatment

01:31:03 Listening and Learning in Recovery

01:35:24 Detox and the Importance of Time

01:39:02 Finding Purpose in Recovery

01:45:39 Working in Treatment and Helping Others

01:46:37 Building Trust in Recovery

01:47:01 Creating a Supportive Alumni Network

01:48:50 The Importance of Community in Recovery

01:51:26 Navigating Grief and Loss

01:56:00 Finding Purpose in Service

02:00:05 Understanding Addiction and Recovery

02:02:12 Connecting Through Shared Experiences

Never Lose Hope with Tennille Heitkamp

Tennille Heitkamp joins Pondoff’s Anonymous to share the long, painful, and hopeful story of walking through addiction with her son, Jacob. What starts as a conversation about Underground and finding the right support community turns into a brutally honest look at what addiction does to an entire family.

Tennille talks about Jacob’s childhood, ADHD, early struggles to fit in, his exposure to pills and fentanyl, emergency room visits, detox, sober living, relapse, and the emotional chaos that came with trying to keep him alive. She also opens up about the toll it took on her, her marriage, her other son, and her own mental health as she tried to hold everything together.

But this episode is not just about the darkness. It is also about not giving up. Tennille shares how Jacob eventually found real help, how Florida became a turning point, how he is now six months sober, and how hope slowly started to return. The conversation also highlights Tennille’s work with Addiction is Real, where she now helps other families recognize warning signs, find resources, and feel less alone.

This episode is for parents, loved ones, and anyone who has ever felt exhausted by addiction and wondered if things can still get better.

Sponsored by:

McKelvey Insurance Group — https://www.mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy — https://findyourlightsource.com

00:00 Sponsor message: McKelvey Insurance Group + LightSource

00:56 Theme song

01:30 Welcome and meeting Tennille

06:48 How Tennille found Underground

09:16 Trying different support spaces until something fits

12:12 Creating a safe place for scared newcomers

15:27 Underground becomes bigger than anyone expected

17:42 Why Chris wanted Tennille to tell this story

18:43 Jacob, Jayden, and the beginning of the family story

24:02 Jacob’s childhood, diagnoses, surgeries, and early struggles

30:38 High school football, wanting to fit in, and pills

32:16 First exposure to fentanyl

33:34 Moving out, chasing belonging, and things unraveling

40:12 The first major fentanyl scare and ER trip

42:09 Detox, sober living, and the insurance nightmare

58:30 Family disease, shame, and trying to fix everything

1:01:33 Learning boundaries and finding family support

1:21:08 Another sober living setback

1:25:39 Airport chaos and getting Jacob back to treatment

1:30:54 New Jersey, sober living, and another return home

1:33:21 A good stretch, then relapse again

1:37:05 Hospital scare and the move to Florida

1:38:05 Florida treatment and meeting Emily

1:40:21 Six months sober and a different future

1:42:48 Tennille’s work with Addiction is Real

1:50:39 How Jacob is doing now

1:53:55 Credits

1:54:26 Light in the Dark coffee outro

Content Note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, addiction, and mental health.

Julie Wiseman with her friend (also) Julie

Thanks to our sponsors:

McKelvey Insurance Group

http://mckelveyins.com

LightSource

http://FindYourLightSource.com

In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris and Zoë sit down with Julie Wiseman, joined by her friend Dee, for a deeply honest conversation about grief, learning differences, addiction, and the long shadow of shame. Julie shares the story of her son Nick, from early struggles with dyslexia and anxiety to the deeper mental health and substance use battles that followed, and the devastating reality of losing him to suicide.

Along the way, the conversation opens up into something even bigger… parenting fear, the pressure kids carry, the gaps in support for teens and families, and the kind of community that can help people feel less alone. Julie talks about creating Nick’s Beautiful Angels, Zoë reflects on her own experience with dyslexia and ADHD, and the group keeps coming back to a simple truth… isolation makes everything worse, and honest connection matters.

Chapters:

00:00 Navigating Personal Challenges

02:51 Understanding Learning Differences

12:15 The Impact of ADHD and Dyslexia

20:51 Social Connections and Communication

32:06 The Role of Support Systems

40:19 Exploring Addiction and Recovery

49:48 The Importance of Open Conversations

59:48 Coping with Isolation and Pressure

01:09:49 Finding Joy in Everyday Life

01:19:33 The Journey of Self-Discovery

01:29:00 Fear, Setbacks, and Turning Points

01:39:00 Living With Panic and Uncertainty

01:47:11 The Weight of the Last Text

01:57:00 Grief in Daily Life

02:05:00 Courage, Community, and Keep Going

02:13:20 Landing the Plane

In this episode of Pondoff’s Anonymous, Chris sits down with Lyndsey Jacob, Kyle Jacob, and Zoë for an honest conversation about addiction, recovery, trauma, ADHD, marriage, family, sobriety, and healing.

Lyndsey shares what it was like to live in denial while knowing things could not keep going the way they were. She talks about cocaine use, alcohol, secrecy, survival mode, shame, and the fear of facing life without substances. This episode explores the turning points that led her toward honesty, treatment, and recovery.

Chris, Lyndsey, Kyle, and Zoë also talk about the impact addiction has on marriage, trust, family, finances, motherhood, and identity. They unpack how childhood experiences, trauma, and ADHD can shape adult behavior and self-perception, and how deeper issues can stay hidden underneath addiction for years.

This conversation also gets into support systems, accountability, stigma, and the role of community in recovery. Kyle shares what it was like to walk through this as a husband, and the episode offers a real look at what healing can require from everyone involved. It is messy, personal, honest, and hopeful.

If you are interested in addiction recovery, sobriety, trauma healing, mental health, ADHD, relationships, or real stories of change, this episode is for you.

Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Sponsorships
01:11 Personal Reflections on Life and Challenges
02:34 The Importance of Connection and Community
06:00 Navigating Personal Struggles and Support Systems
09:29 The Journey of Recovery and Realizations
12:43 Understanding Addiction and Its Complexities
16:14 The Role of Family and Relationships in Recovery
19:10 Childhood Experiences and Their Impact on Adulthood
25:46 Unpacking Trauma and ADHD
27:11 The Turning Point: Coming Clean to Family
28:19 The Importance of Support in Recovery
32:01 Facing the Reality of Addiction
36:00 Unpacking Trauma and Honesty
48:59 The Journey of Self-Discovery
52:03 Understanding Different Addictive Behaviors
58:12 Navigating Substance Use and Social Norms
59:58 The Journey of a Single Mother
01:02:55 Love, Loss, and New Beginnings
01:05:58 The Highs and Lows of Addiction
01:09:52 The Cost of Addiction on Finances and Relationships
01:24:31 The Impact of Addiction on Family Dynamics
01:27:12 Breaking the Stigma of Addiction
01:30:49 Accountability and Personal Growth in Recovery
01:32:01 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Healing
01:39:07 Understanding the Nature of Addiction
01:41:01 The Role of Community in Recovery
01:52:00 Finding Purpose in Recovery
01:56:08 Embracing Authenticity and Connection

Sponsors

McKelvey Insurance Group
https://mckelveyins.com

LightSource Psychotherapy
https://findyourlightsource.com

Fentanyl Killed My Son at a Sleepover | A Mother's Fight for Justice

Tiffany Foster's son Zack was 13 when he died from fentanyl poisoning at a friend's sleepover. He wasn't an addict. It was his first time. Eight days after his birthday, he was gone.

Tiffany shares Zack's story -- his childhood, the night of August 28th, four years of legal battles, and the advocacy work she does now. If you're a parent, someone in recovery, or anyone who loves a young person, this one is for you.

Fentanyl doesn't discriminate. Two milligrams -- the tip of a pencil -- is lethal. Zack had 44.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 -- Introduction to the Journey
03:36 -- The Impact of Loss and Grief
12:29 -- Understanding Zack's Childhood and Development
24:32 -- Navigating Adolescence and Early Experimentation
36:00 -- The Tragic Night and Its Consequences
38:48 -- Navigating Parental Concerns
42:05 -- The Night of the Incident
44:28 -- The Shocking News
51:50 -- Understanding the Overdose
54:24 -- The Aftermath and Legal Proceedings
01:01:32 -- The Trials and Sentencing
01:19:12 -- Judicial System Insights and Parole Eligibility
01:22:28 -- Navigating Grief and the Impact of Trials
01:26:05 -- The Verdict: A Moment of Relief
01:30:21 -- Joining the Fight Against Addiction
01:33:08 -- Early Prevention and Education on Substance Use
01:41:43 -- Hidden in Plain View: Raising Awareness
01:48:11 -- Knowledge is Power: Engaging Parents in Prevention
01:50:15 -- Creating Awareness Through Personal Stories
01:52:53 -- The Importance of Authenticity in Communication
01:56:05 -- Navigating Grief and Addiction
02:01:40 -- The Journey of Recovery and Support
02:05:51 -- The Role of Community in Healing
02:10:37 -- Continuing the Conversation on Addiction

ABOUT ZACK

Born August 21, 2008. Outgoing, loving, never met a stranger. He loved horror movies, video games, soccer, and Halloween, and had a personality big enough to fill any room. He was eight days past his 13th birthday when he died. His toxicology came back with 44 milligrams of fentanyl -- a lethal dose is 2 to 5 milligrams, an amount that fits on the tip of a pencil.

THE LEGAL OUTCOME

Three adults were charged. Andrew Amalong: convicted, 40 years concurrent. Thomas Noonan -- whose biological daughter had died from fentanyl three weeks before Zack -- convicted, 45 years consecutive with a repeat offender enhancement. Jury deliberations: 90 minutes and 30 minutes respectively. Final sentencing: August 2025.

WHAT EVERY PARENT NEEDS TO HEAR

• Fentanyl is in marijuana, counterfeit pills, and things no one expects. Two milligrams is lethal.
• Zack was not an addict. This was his first time. One try can be fatal now.
• Talk to your kids early -- the fear that the conversation invites experimentation is wrong.
• Know where your kids sleep. Vet the household, not just whether a parent is home.
• Fentanyl poisoning does not care about grades, zip codes, or family stability.

ADDICTION IS REAL

Tiffany is a board member of Addiction Is Real, a St. Louis nonprofit focused on early substance use prevention and education. Their Hidden in Plain View program is a bedroom display with 70+ warning signs and stash items parents wouldn't recognize. They're building permanent mobile trailer displays -- needed by April 2026. Free parent toolkit at addictionisreal.org.

SPONSORS

Light Source Psychotherapy
McKelvey Insurance Group | 618-623-0080

CONNECT

pondoffsanonymous.com

Pondoff's Anonymous | Chris Pandoff, Zoe Mendenall, Jeff Allen | Illinois Recovery Center | Music: McCall -- "Anti-Hero"