Why do so many Christians feel pressured to become “spiritually mature” before they’ve even learned to rest in God’s love?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, Michele Kus and Martin Trench unpack why many churches unintentionally rush believers past the foundational childhood stage of spiritual growth — creating pressure, confusion, fear, and performance-based Christianity in the process.

Together, they unpack how churches often rush new believers past the “milk” stage of spiritual development and into pressure-filled teachings about spiritual warfare, end times, tithing, performance, and more — trying to get them “caught up” spiritually.

Through scripture, stories, humor, and honest conversation, Michele and Martin explore why healthy spiritual growth cannot be forced — and why skipping the foundational childhood stage of trust and love can create confusion, fear, exhaustion, spiritual striving, and unhealthy views of God that affect believers over the long haul.

Real spiritual growth is not about becoming hyper-spiritual as quickly as possible… but about allowing our connection with God to gradually transform us over time.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by church expectations, pressured to spiritually “grow up” too quickly, or like you skipped over the foundational stage of simply learning to trust God’s love — this episode is for you.

Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

If you enjoyed this episode, FOLLOW the show and SHARE this episode with a friend!

Don’t miss the full visual experience! Watch this episode on our awesome Unhinged YouTube channel.

And remember to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!

-- READY TO GO DEEPER? --

If this stirred something in you, don’t just listen — take the next step.

Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy

Join Martin’s online community, The Gathering

-- SUPPORT THE PODCAST --

Love our free content and want to support the show?

Grab some fabulous, custom-designed snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation (thank you!)

-- ABOUT OUR SHOW --

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking, rediscover a freer and healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself… and laugh a little along the way.

-- RESOURCES --

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music

Martin’s books on Amazon

-- CONNECT WITH US! --

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linktree, & website

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linktree, & website

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

02:46 1 John 2 and the “Milk, Meat & Bread” Stages of Spiritual Growth

08:40 The Three Stages in 1 John 2: Childhood, Youth, Parenthood

10:16 The Problem With Skipping the “Milk” of Spiritual Childhood

12:55 What Spiritual Children Need Most

16:31 Why New Christians Feel Pressured to “Catch Up”

21:26 Don’t Rush Through Spiritual Childhood

24:13 Final Thoughts on Healthy Spiritual Growth

You’ve been taught to fix what’s wrong with you… but what if the parts you’ve been trying to hide are the very parts God calls beautiful?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, we take a deeper look at identity, self-perception, and the subtle ways church culture can train us to dislike and distrust ourselves. We explore the powerful idea that what you’ve labeled as flaws or imperfections may not be flaws at all — and how learning to see yourself through God’s eyes can radically shift the way you see yourself.

If you’ve ever struggled with self-criticism, shame, or the feeling that something about you is deeply flawed and needs fixing — this one’s for you.

-- WHAT YOU’LL LEARN --

If you’ve ever…

• felt like something about you was “too much” or “not enough”
• been taught to distrust your own thoughts, feelings, intuition, or heart
• struggled with self-criticism or feeling like you need to fix yourself

… then this will help you:

• reframe what you’ve been calling “flaws”
• understand how shame-based thinking gets reinforced in church culture
• begin to see yourself through a lens of grace instead of criticism
• rebuild self-trust and embrace your authentic self

--

Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful” on Spotify.

Stream “My Scars Are Beautiful” on Apple Music.

Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth.

Purchase “Disappointments, All of You” t-shirt (featured in this video, from the Unhinged merch shop).

-- READY TO GO DEEPER? --

If you want the full visual experience, watch this episode on our Unhinged YouTube channel. (Or watch the entire Align With Your Design playlist here. And remember to SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!)

If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step.

Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy

Join Martin’s 30-Day Spiritual Growth Challenge inside his online community, The Gathering

-- SUPPORT THE SHOW --

Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free?

Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation (thank you!)

-- ABOUT OUR SHOW --

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself.

-- RESOURCES --

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Spotify

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed) on Apple Music

Martin’s books on Amazon

-- CONNECT WITH US! --

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linktree, & website

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Linktree, & website

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

03:05 How Do You Find the Right Environment?

05:13 Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated

07:21 What You Call Ugly, God Calls Beautiful

12:54 Guided Meditation: You Are His Treasure

18:07 “My Scars Are Beautiful” song by Michele

You’ve been told to “bloom where you’re planted”. . .

. . . which sounds great, but what if that advice is actually keeping you stuck?

In this episode of Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction, we unpack why spiritual growth doesn’t happen in environments where you can’t be your authentic self — and how Christians are often trained to distrust their own thoughts, feelings, discernment, and instincts.

We explore the difference between real transformation vs. just accumulating more knowledge, and why external alignment matters just as much as what’s happening in your inner world.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, restless, or like you’ve outgrown your environment — but felt unsure about trying new spaces, then this one’s for you.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

If you’ve ever…

• felt like you should be growing spiritually… but aren’t
• been told to stay somewhere that doesn’t feel right
• struggled to trust your own thoughts, feelings, intuition, or instincts

… then this will help you:

• understand why spiritual growth is more than just gaining knowledge
• recognize how environment impacts your ability to grow
• rebuild self-trust and move out of performance-based faith
• identify when it might be time to find “better soil”

Purchase Martin’s book, Secrets of Spiritual Growth, here.

READY TO GO DEEPER?

If you want the full visual teaching with slides & diagrams, watch this episode on our Unhinged YouTube channel. (Or watch the entire Align With Your Design series here. And remember to SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!)

If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step.

Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy

Join Martin’s 30-Day Spiritual Growth Challenge inside his online community, The Gathering

SUPPORT THE CHANNEL

Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free?

Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation (thank you!)

ABOUT OUR SHOW

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself.

RESOURCES

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed)

Martin’s books

CONNECT WITH US!

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

00:29 Why More Knowledge ≠ Spiritual Growth

06:34 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” … Really?

12:33 Feeling Safe to Be Your Authentic Self

18:22 The Role of Environment in Spiritual Growth

22:09 The Beautiful Messiness of Being Human

25:53 Not All Soil is Good Soil

27:22 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” Promotes Self-Blame

29:21 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” Reinforces Spiritual Passivity

30:06 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” Confuses “Endurance” with True Calling

30:43 “Bloom Where You’re Planted” Disconnects You From Your Design

31:35 Neuroscience Teaches Us: Your Environment Shapes Your Identity

33:23 A Helpful Reframe: Bloom Where You’re Nourished

34:21 Final Thoughts & A Few More Unhinged Moments

You’ve been taught there are 9 spiritual gifts… but that’s not actually the whole picture.

This is Part 4 of the Align With Your Design series, where we explore how you’re uniquely designed — and how your gifts, personality, and wiring all work together to shape your purpose.

In this teaching, we break down the three lists of spiritual gifts found in Scripture — and why most Christians have only been taught one of them (or none at all).

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

If you’ve ever…

• felt confused about what your spiritual gifts actually are
• assumed spiritual gifts only show up in church settings
• assumed spiritual gifts only show up after you become a Christian

… then this will help you:

• understand the three types of spiritual gifts listed in the Bible
• discover how different gifts are given by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
• recognize that your design is way bigger than one category of gifting

Purchase C. Peter Wagner’s excellent book on spiritual gifts here.

READY TO GO DEEPER?

If you want the full visual teaching with slides & diagrams, watch this episode on our Unhinged YouTube channel. (Or watch the entire Align With Your Design playlist here. And remember to SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!)

If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step.

Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy

Join Martin’s online community, The Gathering

SUPPORT THE CHANNEL

Love our free content and want to keep it ad-free?

Grab some snarky Unhinged merch or send us a donation (thank you!)

ABOUT OUR SHOW

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself.

RESOURCES

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed)

Martin’s books

CONNECT WITH US!

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

CHAPTERS

00:00 Welcome to Unhinged: Separating Faith from Fiction!

02:14 The 3 Categories of Spiritual Gifts

04:15 Motivational Gifts or Gifts of the Father (Romans 12)

09:08 The Overlap Between Personality and Spiritual Gifts

10:25 Manifestation Gifts or Gifts of the Spirit (1 Corinthians 12)

14:23 Speaking in Tongues… But It Was a Known Human Language!

19:12 Ministry Leadership Gifts or Gifts of the Son (Ephesians 4)

24:18 Why These Gifts Exist: To Help Christians Mature

26:26 Different Gifts, Different Expressions

32:48 Gifts Grow When You Use Them

34:14 The Uses and Limits of Spiritual Gifts Assessments

35:28 One Body, Many Parts and Every Part Matters

40:00 How to Discover Your Spiritual Gifts

46:03 Final Thoughts & A Few Unhinged Moments!

You’re not weird. You’re wired this way.

This is Part 3 of the Align With Your Design series, where we take a closer look at personality — and how understanding the way you’re wired can unlock deeper self-awareness and clarity around your purpose.

In this teaching on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, we explore the four core dichotomies and how they shape the way you take in information, make decisions, and relate to the world around you.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

If you’ve ever…

• wondered why you think so differently from other people
• felt misunderstood or out of place in certain environments
• struggled to make sense of your personality

… then this will help you:

• understand how your mind naturally processes the world
• recognize your unique personality patterns
• see how your wiring connects to your design and purpose

READY TO GO DEEPER?

If you want the full visual teaching with slides & diagrams, watch this episode on our Unhinged YouTube channel. (Or watch the entire Align With Your Design playlist here. And remember to SUBSCRIBE while you’re there!)

If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step.

Join Michele’s online community, New Creation Academy

Join Martin’s online community, The Gathering

Take a FREE personality assessment online here

SUPPORT THE CHANNEL

Love this content and want to keep it ad-free?

Grab some snarky Unhinged merch

ABOUT OUR SHOW

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself.

RESOURCES

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed)

Martin’s books

CONNECT WITH US!

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

CHAPTERS

00:00 Why You’re Wired the Way You Are

01:49 What Is the Myers-Briggs?

03:00 How Romans 12 Inspired the Title “Gifts Differing”

05:24 The Four Dichotomies Explained

07:21 How You’re Energized: Extraversion (E) & Introversion (I)

12:22 How You Take in Information: Sensing (S) & Intuition (N)

14:37 How You Make Decisions: Thinking (T) & Feeling (F)

16:43 How You Approach Life: Judging (J) & Perceiving (P)

22:15 Walking Through the Type Table

27:31 How You Grow: Self-Awareness & Personal Development

29:11 How Your Mind Drives the Car: The 8 Cognitive Functions

33:09 Final Thoughts & A Few Unhinged Moments!

What if your purpose isn’t something you have to find… but something already built into you?

This is Part 2 of the Align With Your Design series, where we explore how God has uniquely wired you — and how your design holds clues to your purpose.

In this teaching on the S.H.A.P.E. framework (Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences), we look at how Ephesians 2:10 reveals that you are God’s masterpiece — intentionally designed to live a life of meaning and contribution.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

If you’ve ever…

• wondered why certain things energize you while others drain you
• felt like you don’t quite “fit” in certain roles or environments
• questioned how your personality connects to your purpose

… then this will help you:

• recognize the patterns that reveal your design
• understand how your personality, gifts, and strengths work together
• see how God has already wired you for purpose

READY TO GO DEEPER?

If you want the full visual teaching with diagrams, watch this episode on our Unhinged YouTube channel.

If this stirred something in you, don’t just watch — take the next step.

Join the Discover Your Life Purpose Challenge

SUPPORT THE CHANNEL

Love this content and want to keep it ad-free?

Grab some snarky Unhinged merch

ABOUT OUR SHOW

Unhinged helps you unlearn toxic religious thinking and rediscover a freer, healthier way of understanding God, faith, and yourself.

RESOURCES

Michele’s music (Grace Remixed)

Martin’s books

CONNECT WITH US!

Michele’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

Martin’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, & Linktree

CHAPTERS

00:00 God Designed You on Purpose for a Purpose

01:04 Patterns Are Clues

02:00 You Are God’s Masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10)

06:27 What Is Your S.H.A.P.E.?

09:45 Personality Type and How You’re Wired

14:12 Assessments Just Give Us Language

16:12 Align With Your Design

19:31 Reflection Questions

20:37 Prayer and Meditation

22:11 Wrap-up and Final Thoughts