Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something…

Let's start with something light…

If you bring food or drinks to an event and they go unused, is it tacky to take them home?

📌 Does it depend on the event?
📌 Is a potluck different from a birthday party?
📌 Once something enters the event, does it belong to the host or to the person who brought it?

Then somehow the conversation evolved into something much deeper…

📌 What actually qualifies someone to carry a title?
📌 What makes someone a caterer?
📌 Is it the person who cooks the food?
📌 The person who owns the business?
📌 The person who creates the experience?
📌 Can you cater without cooking?

And that led us to an even bigger question…

When it comes to professionals, how much proof is required?

If someone says they're a doctor, a chef, or a professional in their field, is experience enough? Is licensing enough? Is documentation necessary? And if someone cannot immediately produce proof, does that automatically invalidate their knowledge, training, or work?

Because underneath all of this is a bigger question…

Do you become a professional when someone grants you permission… or when your work proves it?

Have we become so focused on credentials that we've forgotten that every expert was once a beginner?

So now we're asking…

Do titles come from participation… or validation?
From skill… or certification?
From experience… or recognition?

And who ultimately gets to decide?

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE event etiquette, ownership of leftovers, credentials vs competence, and whether professionalism comes from permission… or proof.

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Hey UN•THERAPIST,

You know the deal, no intro, just vibes 💪🏽

Join us in this UN•THERAPY session, as we UN•THERAPIZE Gelly Gelz & Lady J’s brief stroll down memory lane from 2012, during their days working as a Resident Assistant at Florida A&M University.

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Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something…

Have we started attaching ourselves to second-hand trauma? Not trauma we've personally lived through, but trauma we’ve inherited through stories, social media, conversations, and experiences shared by others.

And when people share traumatic experiences, are we extracting the trauma from it or the principles that came from surviving it?

Because there’s a difference between learning from pain, and building your identity around pain you never actually experienced.

Then we revisited another conversation we’ve had before about Black businesses and discounts. 👇🏾

📌 Why does asking for a discount at BJ’s, Costco, or major retailers feel normal, but somehow becomes offensive when it’s a Black business?
📌 Is it because it’s a small business?
📌 Is it because it’s Black-owned?
📌 Or are we applying different principles depending on who’s selling?
📌 And if support is important, where does fairness fit into the conversation?

On one side, people are saying, “support Black businesses.”

On the other side, customers are saying, “If there’s a deal, why can’t I ask?”

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE secondhand trauma, extracting principles vs pain, support within Black business culture, and the unspoken rules surrounding discounts and community economics.

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Substack: Every Moment Teaches

Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something, in your opinion, where’s the line between representation and exploitation?

We had a conversation surrounding the cartoon "Hey AJ" and one of the characters, Captain Durag, a superhero who wears a durag and flies around helping people.

Now, for some people, it was funny. Nostalgic even. But for others, it was offensive.

And what made the conversation even more interesting was that some of the same people who are upset about the character actively wear durags and bonnets themselves.

Once people found out the show's creator was Black, some of the outrage softened.

So now we had even more questions 👇🏾

📌 Was the issue really the representation itself?
📌 Was the discomfort connected to who was representing it?
📌 When does showing culture become exploiting culture?

Because sometimes we say we want representation, until the mirror reflects something we don’t want amplified.

So now we’re asking 👇🏾

📌 Are we upset because it’s inaccurate?
📌 Because it feels stereotypical?
📌 Or because it feels too familiar?
📌 And does intent matter depending on who created it?
📌 At what point does cultural expression become cultural exploitation, and who gets to decide where that line is?

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE representation vs exploitation, cultural sensitivity, identity in media, and why some reflections make us proud… while others make us uncomfortable.

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Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something…

Quick question: How many sneezes does somebody get before you stop saying “bless you” and start looking at them differently? Like, after a certain number, are you checking on them or slowly creating distance?

That conversation somehow led us into something deeper…

📌 What does the term “safe space” actually mean to you?
📌 Is a safe space a place where you can fully be yourself?
📌 Is it a person you trust?
📌 Is it a mindset?
📌 Or is it simply somewhere you can speak without fear of being judged?

And here’s where the conversation got interesting 👇🏾

Does a safe space remove accountability?

Or should accountability still exist inside of it?

Because some people want honesty, others want people to listen to them, others want correction, and others want comfort.

So now the question becomes…

📌 If someone challenges you in your safe space, is it still safe?
📌 Can accountability and safety coexist?
📌 Or do we only call it “safe” when nobody pushes back?

And maybe the bigger question is…

Are you looking for healing or agreement?

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE the meaning of safe spaces, accountability vs comfort, trust in communication, and how many sneezes it takes before concern turns into evacuation.

🔗 Connect with UN•THERAPY Podcast
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UN•THERAPY Facebook Group: 🎉 UN•THERA•PARTY (Official UN•THERAPY Podcast Group)

🔗 Connect with Uncle Smiley the DJ
Instagram: ⁠ @UncleSmileyTheDJ
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Wedding Wire: @UncleSmileyTheDJ
The Knot: @UncleSmileyTheDJ
Personal Website: UncleSmileyTheDJ.com

No intro, just vibes.

Join us in this UN•THERAPY session, where we UN•THERAPIZE time limits on giving grace, and the moment compassion turns into self-abandonment.

Because grace is beautiful, until it’s one-sided, because not everyone deserves unlimited understanding, and at some point, grace needs boundaries.

Tune in as we unpack when to extend grace, when to pull it back, and how to recognize when you’ve been over-giving to people who under-deliver.

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Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something…

How important is your circle really?

There’s a story in the Bible about a man who needed healing, but the room was too crowded to get him to Jesus. So his friends did something different. They climbed to the roof, opened it up, and lowered their friend down until he reached the place where healing could happen.

Now pause there. Those friends took it upon themselves to help someone else achieve a transformation.

So the question became:
📌 How far are you willing to go for the people you love?
📌 Do you help until it gets inconvenient?
📌 Do you support until you stop seeing progress?
📌 Do you stay committed when they lose motivation?
📌 Or is there a point where you say, “I’ve done enough?"

Then we talked about hope.

At a conference, a speaker said many people don’t have hope. And if faith is the substance of things hoped for, then without hope, one of the key ingredients of faith is already missing.

So now another question rises:

📌 If one of your people seems hopeless, can you help reignite that spark?
📌 Can your belief carry them until they can believe again?

Because sometimes healing doesn’t start with a miracle, it starts with the right people carrying you until you’re strong enough to walk yourself.

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE the power of your circle, the limits of support, restoring hope in hopeless places, and how far real friends are willing to go for your transformation.

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Hey UN•THERAPIST,

We need your help UN•THERAPIZING something…

What does it really mean to pour from an empty cup? We hear it all the time, “I’m drained.” But if you’re empty in some areas and still full in others, is your cup really empty?

Or are you just tired of pouring into the same people, the same conversations, the same situations?

So now we have to ask:

📌 Is your cup empty, or is your patience?

📌 Are there people you avoid because they drain more than they deposit?

📌 Are there conversations you no longer want to have because they exhaust you instead of energize you?

And here’s another layer:

📌 Who determines the cup is empty?

📌 The person pouring, or the person being poured into?

Because sometimes the person receiving still expects more, while the person giving feels like they’ve already given everything.

And we can’t skip this part:

📌 Have you said anything?

📌 Have you communicated that it’s draining you, or just created distance without explanation?

📌 Because if they don’t know, can they adjust?

So maybe it’s not always an empty cup, maybe it’s unspoken boundaries, and selective pouring.

Join us for another session of UN•THERAPY as we UN•THERAPIZE empty cups vs selective pouring, emotional boundaries, draining relationships, and who really decides when you have nothing left to give.

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