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The Useless Hotline

The Useless Hotline

By: Max Balegde & George Clarke
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About this listen

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.


Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.



Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:


theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com


OR


Send a voice note to our Instagram:


https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Max Balegde & George Clarke
Politics & Government
Episodes
  • How Would GEORGE CLARKE & MAX BALAGDE Spend £200M: Mukbangs, Moats and a 'Social Battery'
    Apr 24 2026

    Description: This week, we’re joined by TikTok & Youtube sensations - the hosts of The Useless Hotline podcast - George Clarke and Max Balegde!

    So listen in as the duo dives into all the wildly unhinged ways they’d spend a £200,000,000 EuroMillions jackpot. From a time-traveling mukbang to cancel Henry VIII, to a spiteful loft conversion built solely to annoy Max with loud Pasodoble dancing, to the ultimate morning routine on the 10-minute “cleaner coaster”


    Subscribe and follow for new episodes every Friday!!!


    Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/ycyfv2fc

    On Spotify: https://tinyurl.com/4ths7ned

    On TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/4d9k5457

    On Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/ykumd329

    On YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/yxyruujd


    Brought to you by EuroMillions from The National Lottery and Acast Creative ✨

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    47 mins
  • BONUS EPISODE! End Of Tour Wrap Up!!!
    Apr 19 2026

    Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline


    Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.


    Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.



    Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:


    theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com


    OR


    Send a voice note to our Instagram:


    https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=



    You can also listen here:


    Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234


    Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl



    Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?


    Tiktok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1


    Instagram:

    https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Hosts Socials:


    Max’s YouTube:

    https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

    George’s YouTube:

    https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke


    Max’s TikTok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

    George’s TikTok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1


    Max’s Instagram:

    https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

    George’s Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/


    George’s Twitter:

    https://twitter.com/Clarke13George


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    38 mins
  • Tour Diary: Wild Stories from Australia and New Zealand
    Apr 12 2026

    Join our Patreon!!! - https://www.patreon.com/TheUselessHotline


    Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.


    Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.



    Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:


    theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com


    OR


    Send a voice note to our Instagram:


    https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=



    You can also listen here:


    Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234


    Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl



    Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?


    Tiktok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1


    Instagram:

    https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


    Hosts Socials:


    Max’s YouTube:

    https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

    George’s YouTube:

    https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke


    Max’s TikTok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

    George’s TikTok:

    https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1


    Max’s Instagram:

    https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

    George’s Instagram:

    https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/


    George’s Twitter:

    https://twitter.com/Clarke13George



    00:00 - Feeling like a mushy yogurt: opening reflections

    00:12 - Tour update: halfway through Australia, Brisbane rooftop recording

    00:40 - Aussie sounds: sirens, busy streets, and Melbourne-Melbourne crossover

    01:30 - Youthful adventures: scooter rides in rain and birthdays in Auckland

    02:50 - Wild Auckland stories: street fights, blood pools, and chaotic brawls

    04:02 - New Zealand’s unique culture and stunning landscapes

    05:10 - Sydney arrival: heat, traffic, and city impressions

    06:45 - Australian food obsessions: yogurt, snacks, and food scene comparisons

    07:55 - Meeting Robert Irwin: zoo visits, celebrity stories, and family legacy

    09:20 - The passionate Irwin family and Steve Irwin’s legacy

    10:50 - Fans, meet and greets, and the magnetic energy of live shows

    12:30 - Funny stories of exotic encounters and local characters

    13:45 - Reflections on the journey and plans to return to these incredible countries

    15:00 - Wrapping up: gratitude for fans, upcoming shows, and future adventures

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show More Show Less
    34 mins
All stars
Most relevant
Inclusive to the audience with their stories and the answers to them are obviously completely useless but hilarious to listen to!

very funny and well entertaining

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