Dr. Margaret will focus today on questions and answers that listeners have sent her by either voicemail or email.

First topic for today: Is anorexia back "in" as beautiful?

Second: Why could you be allowing your mom (with borderline traits) to occupy such emotional space in your life?

And third: If I'm openly sad when my son is getting ready to leave home, am I unintentionally setting him up to feel guilty?

I so appreciate it when either listeners to the podcast or readers on my website comment to me, leave me a Speakpipe voicemail, or send in an email!

So thank you to any and all of you who've sent in questions and comments. Keep them coming!

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Discover how to interpret the Enneagram in this episode of SelfWork! It's a personality test that's been around for decades. How is it different from other personality scales and what has made it so popular for so many years?

Our expert speaker is Courtney Smith, who's a coach, group facilitator, and consultant who works with individuals and Fortune 500 companies to achieve change. She is a renowned practitioner of the Enneagram personality system, which she teaches alongside other personal development tools. She is the coauthor with Elise Loehnen of Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness. Courtney's newsletter is What We're Really Up To.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

In this SelfWork episode, Dr. Margaret interviews an expert on medical and mental trauma of chronic illness - Amy Kurtz.

194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it?

Patient advocate and health coach Amy Kurtz knows this gap in our healthcare system firsthand. Having gone to 36 doctors, she was already exhausted from that decades-long effort. Finally hearing the diagnosis of late-stage neurological Lyme disease with co-infections, and getting the right treatment, her labs may have improved.

But as her body began to stabilize, the fear didn’t fade. She lived in constant anticipation that her health would collapse again at any moment. It was her husband who finally named what she couldn’t: the illness may have receded, but the trauma hadn’t.

What emerged from that conversation is her book that came out this week - BUT YOU LOOK FINE (Balance, June 9), an earnest guide to get through the dark tunnel of what she calls Medical Trauma Brain: the lingering imprint of illness that doesn’t disappear just because the diagnosis improves.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity.

Each week on How To!, award-winning journalist Mike Pesca tackles a listener’s question – on topics ranging from travel and finance to health and relationships – with help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session, without the co-pay or awkward silence.

And today, we’re sharing their recent episode “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health” where Mike interviews psychiatrist Dr. Will Van der Veer, a psychedelic researcher, and Myq Kaplan who has taken psychedelics for his mental health and other reasons. I love this episode because you get to hear a bunch of personal experiences of medical psychedelics and learn more about this emerging treatment for mental health conditions.

And for more interviews like this, make sure to follow How To! on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. And tell them we sent you.

Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a place of privilege in the US.

Do you have to have walked in someone else’s shoes, carried the same load as they have, lived a life very similar to theirs – to truly understand them? Or to offer something helpful to them?

I received a very open and honest voicemail this week that addresses this question. What follows is also a discussion of the difference between cultural competence and cultural humility.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin.

He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor.

To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show Dinner and A Movie. In fact, he hosted that show for years – and people still recognize him when he’s out and about!

But his life has moved in many directions.

Since 2011 however, he’s been the host of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast – where he interviews all kinds of people – occasionally a mental health professional. And he encourages folks on the podcast to be as honest as they’re ready to be – about things that many have a struggle with revealing.

I was honored to be on his podcast a few months ago. Paul’s demeanor is such that you find yourself talking to him like no one’s listening… which of course they will eventually be doing just that. He creates a safe space to do that within – and I found it quite a forgiving and emotionally supportive space. Something that makes his podcast unique is that he encourages his listeners to fill out anonymous surveys so he knows what exactly they’re going through – and no holes are barred as far as subject matter. And that’s where his conversations go – into territory that holds shame or fear for many.

You can perhaps tell I’m a huge advocate for his work.

Emotional martyrdom. What is it? And where does it come from? That's today's SelfWork episode.

Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their job to keep everyone around them happy.

So today we're going to look at what's termed emotional martyrdom. This could be you or someone you're in a relationship with. It can sound like, "It's my job to keep everyone happy, whether or not I am happy myself." Or, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Or, "I'm not hungry. Y'all go on and eat what's there and I'll see what's left."

Emotional martyrdom can be insidious, as it often masquerades as altruism but leads to neglecting one's own needs and happiness.

The listener email involves a woman who was overly enmeshed with her own mom. She felt guilt for leaving in seeing other members of the family becoming enmeshed. But she also realized she might be repeating the same pattern, and asks the question, "Should she overcompensate or work on things slowly?"

ORDER The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both reconstructive and plastic surgery. Understanding the motivations and emotional impacts of such decisions is crucial for anyone considering these procedures. The intersection of psychology and plastic surgery reveals much about our societal standards of beauty and self-acceptance.

Order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!