In light of the tragic passing of Eliot Abramson, we are changing plans for the end of season one of The Long Game.

Instead of a final episode reflecting on what we’ve covered, we have a short tribute remembering Eliot. He was a remarkable teammate, friend, youth coach, son, brother, and beloved member of the Mercer Island lacrosse family since he joined our club in elementary school.

We’ll be back with Season Two sometime this fall and will continue exploring healthy youth sports cultures, including more voices from outside our club.

But for now, we pause to support Eliot’s family and friends, to grieve with them, and to reflect on his remarkable life.

May Eliot’s memory be a blessing.

Today The Long Game explores two new perspectives: a rival coach on the opposite sideline, and a referee on the field.

Nick Welton was Bellevue’s head coach from 2017 until he left the program in 2022. In that time, Bellevue and Mercer Island repeatedly met on the biggest stage in Washington high school lacrosse. Bellevue won three state championships under Nick — all against Mercer Island.

But this conversation isn’t about bragging rights. Nick discusses a rival’s view of Mercer Island, why healthy rivalries raise standards and make both sides better, and how he and Ian O’Hearn built real friendship and respect while competing fiercely against each other.

He also explains why great cultures require clear standards, real accountability, and consequences when the standard isn’t met.

Finally, Nick brings a perspective every sports parent should hear: the referee’s. Nick explains why sideline behavior matters, how parents affect young officials, and why respecting refs is part of respecting the game.

A conversation about rivalry with deep respect, standards without shortcuts, and competition that helps kids become champions, on and off the field.

Opinions expressed are only those of the host and guest and not necessarily those of Mercer Island Lacrosse.

Bob Dunbar is an orthopedic trauma surgeon at Harborview Medical Center, a former Peace Corps volunteer and U.S. Navy officer. He also coaches high school lacrosse.

Drawing on Bob’s experiences as a surgeon, Peace Corps volunteer, Navy officer, and youth coach, we discuss what healthy culture looks like when it is built deliberately, and how that culture drives success far beyond the scoreboard.

At the core is a simple idea: excellence is built through repetition, mastery of fundamentals, incremental progress, and consistent habits. And those standards are reinforced by coaches who earn trust, model commitment, and genuinely care about the kids they lead.

Bob talks about the physical and psychological importance of playing multiple sports and the risks of specializing too early. He describes the benefits of programs that do not cut kids based on athletic ability, but instead find a place for any athlete with the right attitude who is willing to work hard.

We also discuss good and bad parent behavior and Bob’s own journey as a sports parent, including lessons his children learned through adversity, growth, and self-belief.

Note: Opinions expressed are those of the host and guest and not necessarily those of Mercer Island Lacrosse Club.