Steve Mellor and Lee Povey are seasoned high-performance coaches with decades of experience leading elite athletes, startup founders, and executive teams. As co-hosts of The Founders Catalyst, they translate elite performance principles into leadership practices that help founders build healthier cultures and more effective companies.

Episode Summary: Steve and Lee dig into a deceptively simple framework for becoming a more effective leadertwo annual questions popularized by Chris Williamson.

The first: What are you doing that you think is effective, but isn’tand you need to do less of? The second: What are you not doing enough of that you think isn’t effective, but actually isand you need to do more of?

They explore how ego and performative leadership distort decision-makingespecially around visibility, networking, and social media. Steve shares how stepping away from local, in-person connection in favor of online “presence” cost him momentum. Lee shares the opposite: forcing himself into networking rooms that drain him, when his real edge is deep one-to-one connection.

The conversation lands on a core principle from elite sport: outcomes are not controllableprocess is. And if you want to be more effective, you need space to think, reflect, and adjust before burnout forces the lesson.

Key Takeaways:

• Effectiveness requires ego-awareness. Ask: am I doing this for impactor to look good?
• Two questions can reveal your blind spots:

1. What am I doing too much of that I think works, but doesn’t?
2. What am I not doing enough of that I think doesn’t work, but does?

• What works for you matters. The “right” strategy is personalit must fit your energy, temperament, and strengths.
• Networking isn’t universally effective. For some leaders it’s fuel; for others it’s performance and drain.
• Social media can be a trap. Obsessing over details and engagement metrics often serves ego more than outcomes.
• 90% are watching quietly. Lack of likes doesn’t mean lack of impact.
• Process beats outcome. Set the goal, then focus on what you can control today.
• Founders who obsess over the exit often under-build the company. Build something sellable; the exit follows.
• Weekly reflection beats annual reflection. Small adjustments compound into major gains.
• Unstructured time is a leadership tool. Protect at least 2 hours weekly for low-cognitive-load thinking.

Resources Mentioned:

• Chris Williamson (Modern Wisdom) the two annual effectiveness questions
• Ego vs effectiveness / performative leadership
• Process vs outcome (elite sport principle)
• Gottman “bids for connection” (turn away, turn against, turn toward)
• Aggregation of marginal gains (1–2% improvements compounding)

Try this for the next 4 weeks:

• Block 2 hours of unstructured time each week (walk, museum, low-cognitive-load activity).
• Answer the two questions based on last week.Choose one small change (1–2%) and implement it immediately.

Busy isn’t a badge. It’s a signal. Adjust before burnout forces you to.

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Steve Mellor and Lee Povey are seasoned high-performance coaches with decades of experience leading elite athletes, startup founders, and executive teams. As co-hosts of The Founders Catalyst, they create candid conversations about leadership identity, culture, and performance, helping founders lead with clarity, courage, and humanity.

Episode Summary: Steve and Lee kick off Season 2 with a simple question that’s harder than it sounds: who do you want to be as a leader? Not what you want to do. Not what you want to achieve. Who you want to be.

They unpack how most of us developed “adaptive” versions of ourselves in childhood, masks that helped us belong, stay safe, and get approval. The problem: those survival strategies often follow us into leadership, where they show up as people-pleasing, defensiveness, control, or constant fatigue.

The conversation moves from belonging and identity to consistency: why authenticity is what makes leadership stable, why “I’m so tired” can become a shield (and create resentment), and how the best leaders adapt to others without compromising their values.

They close with practical reflection prompts: write down who you want to be, notice when you’re in fight/flight/freeze/fawn, and borrow clarity from leaders you admire, because authenticity isn’t a slogan, it’s a practice.

Key Takeaways:

• Leadership isn’t just what you do, it’s who you are being while you do it.
• Your “mask” was once a survival strategy. It helped you belong as a kid, but it can limit you as a leader.
• Fatigue is a signal. If you’re constantly exhausted, you may be leading from adaptation instead of authenticity.
• Belonging drives behavior. The need to fit in is wired into humans—and it can quietly run your leadership.
• Great leaders adapt to people without compromising themselves. They meet others where they are, but keep their morals and standards intact.
• Authenticity creates consistency. If you’re not authentic, you become a chameleon, and consistency gets impossible.
• Name the survival mode. Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are clues, notice them, breathe, and choose how you want to show up.
• Don’t wear “tired leader” as a badge. There’s a difference between being tired and telling a story that leadership is suffering.
• Vulnerability + ownership builds trust. Share what you’re learning, own mistakes, and let your team see the real you.
• Want a shortcut? Look at who you admire. Identify the qualities you respect, and practice those.

Resources Mentioned:

• Adaptive survival strategies from childhood (“masks”)
• Fight / flight / freeze / fawn (nervous system survival responses)
• Men’s work / identity work (e.g., “Men Without Masks”)
• “Admired Leadership” (Randall Stutman)
• Reflection practice: “Who do I want to be as a leader?”

If you do one thing after this episode, do this:

• Write the question at the top of a page: Who do I want to be as a leader?
• Then get curious, no perfection, no performance.

And if you’re stuck, start with admiration: Who do you respect, and what qualities are you trying to embody?

Thank you for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. Stay tuned for more insights and discussions to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

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Become a part of The Founders Catalyst, a free community for founders, start-up executives, and high achievers. Network, ask questions, and participate in our free monthly Zoom meetings. Connect with like-minded individuals and expand your professional circle. Join here.

About the Hosts: Steve Mellor and Lee Povey are seasoned high-performance coaches with decades of experience leading elite athletes, startup founders, and executive teams. As co-hosts of The Founders Catalyst, they bring the language of elite sport into business—turning messy leadership problems into clear standards, better conversations, and stronger culture.

Episode Summary: Steve and Lee open with a candid check-in on energy, routines, and identity—then jump into a founder problem that quietly wrecks teams: feedback (or the lack of it).

They break down why most leaders avoid feedback, how a vacuum of clarity creates anxiety and stories (“I’m going to get fired”), and why the corporate world often treats performance like a twice-a-year event instead of a daily practice.

From there, the conversation expands into culture: why people thrive in environments they actually want to be in, how boundaries and standards create freedom (not restriction), and why “we’re a family” can become a convenient excuse for low accountability.

They close by connecting it all to hiring and firing: when feedback is consistent and standards are clear, letting someone go becomes less emotional, less surprising, and far more humane—because the writing has been on the wall for everyone.

Key Takeaways:

• Most teams don’t have a feedback problem—they have a feedback absence. And people fill that silence with worst-case stories.
• If you want high performance, treat work like performance, every day. Not just during an annual “performance review.”
• Start feedback with permission. “Are you open to some feedback?” changes the emotional state and lowers defensiveness.
• Context makes feedback land. “Here’s what I saw and why it matters” beats “Here’s what you did wrong.”
• Make it objective where you can. Use the “camera test”: what would a recording show, facts over feelings.
• Praise isn’t optional, it’s capacity. If you only give corrective feedback, you empty the “cookie jar” and people stop being able to receive anything.
• Boundaries create freedom. People do better when they know the rules and can be autonomous inside them.
• Play is a performance tool. Build intentional connection time (especially remote) so meetings are sharper and teams feel human.
• The Rehire Test: If they took a 3-month sabbatical, would you enthusiastically rehire them? If not, you’re already late.

Resources Mentioned:

• The “camera test” (objective observation)
• The “cookie jar” model (capacity to receive feedback)
• Code of conduct / standards-setting with team involvement
• Marginal gains mindset (1% improvements)
• “Destination workplace” as an identity + experience
• The “Rehire after sabbatical” test (popularized in high-performance company thinking)

If this episode hit home, take 10 minutes today and audit your feedback culture:

• Are people clear on where they stand?
• Do they know what success looks like—this week, not just this year?
• Are you refilling the cookie jar as often as you’re taking from it?

Subscribe to The Founders Catalyst for more conversations that turn leadership fog into standards, clarity, and better performance.

Thank you for tuning in! If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and review our podcast. Stay tuned for more insights and discussions to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.

Join Our LinkedIn Group!
Become a part of The Founders Catalyst, a free community for founders, start-up executives, and high achievers. Network, ask questions, and participate in our free monthly Zoom meetings. Connect with like-minded individuals and expand your professional circle. Join here.