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That's Where I'm At

That's Where I'm At

By: Laura Richards
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 Welcome to "That's Where I'm At" with your host, Laura Richards! Join Laura Richards, a survivor of narcissistic abuse with 33 years experience, as she guides you through the journey of identifying, healing from, and thriving after emotional and psychological abuse. With a mission to raise awareness, foster emotional recovery, and empower you to love yourself, Laura brings honesty, compassion, and a touch of humor to every episode. Dive into deep, meaningful conversations, tackle tough topics, and uncover moments of hope and healing. Our supportive community is here for you, offering insights, support, and a shared path to recovery and empowerment. Subscribe now and be part of a transformative journey that's messy, real, and truly inspiring!2023 Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Development Personal Success Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • EP 77: Shattering Silence with Michelle Jewsbury: How One Woman's Story Became a Global Movement for Survivors

    EP 77: Shattering Silence with Michelle Jewsbury: How One Woman's Story Became a Global Movement for Survivors
    Apr 15 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Michelle Jewsbury, founder and CEO of Unsilenced Voices, internationally recognized speaker, coach, and survivor of domestic abuse. Michelle is known for helping individuals transform their personal stories into powerful narratives, using her own journey of breaking the cycle of abuse to inspire others to create impact and purpose from their pain. Michelle shares her harrowing experience with a violent, controlling partner, detailing the early red flags, escalating abuse, and her eventual escape. She opens up about how she transformed her trauma into advocacy through writing, performing a solo play, and launching global programs that support survivors in West Africa. As the driving force behind Unsilenced Voices, Michelle now works with individuals, entrepreneurs, and organizations to harness the power of storytelling for healing and growth. Throughout the conversation, Michelle emphasizes the importance of speaking out, seeking support, and finding community. This episode delivers a powerful message of hope, resilience, and empowerment for survivors ready to reclaim their voice and rewrite their story. Key Topics & Timestamps Michelle's Background & Abusive Relationship (00:03:31) Michelle shares her upbringing, move to Hollywood, and meeting her abusive partner. Early Red Flags & Control (00:04:49) Michelle describes early signs of control and manipulation in her relationship. Hope After Abuse & Unlearning Patterns (00:06:08) Michelle and Laura discuss hope for healthy relationships and the need to unlearn toxic patterns. First Incident of Physical Violence (00:07:27) Michelle recounts the first act of physical violence and her initial reaction. Documenting Her Story & Founding UnSilenced Voices (00:07:58) Michelle explains how documenting her experience led to a play, memoir, and founding her nonprofit. Suing Her Abuser & Regaining Her Voice (00:08:54) Michelle details suing her abuser for financial and emotional damages and the empowerment it brought. The Importance of Speaking Out (00:10:12) Laura and Michelle discuss the stigma of talking about abuse and the importance of breaking silence. Leaving an Abusive Relationship (00:11:34) Both share the difficulty and commonality of multiple attempts to leave abusive partners. Escalation of Abuse & Final Break (00:12:24) Michelle describes escalating violence, infidelity, and what finally gave her the strength to leave. Therapy & Finding Her Voice (00:14:24) Laura and Michelle discuss therapy's role in healing and reclaiming self-worth. Life After Abuse & Small Wins (00:16:10) They reflect on the freedom and small victories experienced after leaving abuse. Recognizing Emotional Abuse (00:19:03) Laura discusses realizing emotional abuse through journaling and family patterns. Who Michelle Helps & Her Programs (00:19:59) Michelle explains her nonprofit and for-profit work, including programs in Sierra Leone and coaching survivors. Why Sierra Leone? (00:24:10) Michelle shares how she was called to work in Africa and the origins of her nonprofit's international focus. The Power of Sharing Your Story (00:26:46) Michelle encourages listeners to share their stories to help others and create change. Healing Modalities & Performing Her Story (00:28:30) Michelle describes how writing, performing, and speaking publicly contributed to her healing. Dealing with Naysayers & Victim Blaming (00:30:33) They discuss negative reactions, victim blaming, and the importance of supportive communities. Support Systems & Cultural Barriers (00:32:41) Michelle talks about losing friends during abuse, the need for supportive people, and cultural challenges in addressing abuse. Encouragement & Final Advice (00:37:03) Michelle and Laura offer encouragement to keep going, referencing "just keep swimming" from Finding Nemo. Powerful Quotes from the Episode 'Michelle, 'I started to really accept that this happened, but it doesn't have to define me.' 'Michelle, 'What I did get from this is my voice back. So when I got my voice back after four years of a lawsuit, it made me feel empowered that I could accomplish all of this.' 'Michelle, 'When you're out of those situations, the prosperity that you actually get, not just financially but for your soul, is incredible.' 'Michelle, 'Our stories are not just for us. Our stories are to help other people.' 'Michelle, 'If you feel trapped, if you are stuck, if you've escaped and you're still in this turmoil of why didn't it work, I want you to know to just keep swimming, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't give up. Do not give up because it will get better, I promise you that.' RESOURCES: COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlauraYOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HEREMARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREJOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 FOLLOW ...
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    40 mins
  • EP 76: Building Your Emotional Home with Alyssa Scarano

    EP 76: Building Your Emotional Home with Alyssa Scarano
    Apr 8 2026
    In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Alyssa Scarano, LPC, NCC, therapist and Founder and Clinical Director of The Collective Therapy & Wellness. Known for her empathetic and compassionate approach, Alyssa views her work as a profound privilege—supporting clients through their most vulnerable experiences while helping them heal from childhood trauma, break generational patterns, and build meaningful, authentic relationships rooted in self-compassion. Alyssa shares how personal loss in her twenties led her to pursue therapy and ultimately specialize in generational trauma and family dynamics. Together, she and Laura explore how childhood emotional suppression shapes adult behavior, the importance of inner child work, and how self-love becomes the foundation for healthy boundaries. Using a powerful "home" metaphor, Alyssa illustrates boundary-setting in a relatable way and encourages listeners to embrace discomfort as a necessary part of healing. She also offers a free 21-day email series designed to help build self-worth. Key Topics & Timestamps Episode Overview & Guest Introduction (00:01:29) Laura previews the conversation with Alyssa about generational patterns, boundaries, and self-love. Alyssa's Healing Journey (00:02:58) Alyssa shares her personal background, family dynamics, and how therapy empowered her. Family Silence and Childhood Trauma (00:03:26) Discussion about growing up in families that suppress emotions and the impact on children. Internalizing Trauma as a Child (00:06:19) Exploring how children internalize family trauma and blame themselves. Alyssa's Path to Therapy Work (00:07:16) Alyssa describes her transition from personal healing to becoming a family therapist. Inner Child Work Explained (00:09:26) Alyssa explains inner child work, early social learning, and how childhood beliefs shape adulthood. Boundaries and Self-Love Connection (00:11:46) Laura and Alyssa discuss how boundaries are rooted in self-love and healing childhood wounds. Survival Mode Parenting & Boundaries (00:13:06) Exploring how generational survival mode affects parenting and boundary-setting. External vs. Internal Boundaries (00:14:10) Alyssa explains the difference between visible boundaries and internal boundaries around self-worth. Impact of Narcissistic Abuse and Healing (00:15:04) Laura shares her experience with narcissistic abuse and the process of unraveling negative self-beliefs. How Trauma Gets Stuck (00:16:32) Alyssa explains trauma as a combination of vulnerability, acute events, and lack of support. Importance of Emotional Support (00:17:51) Discussion on how lack of support after trauma makes healing harder and the need for safe spaces. Therapy Process: Genogram & Family Mapping (00:18:58) Alyssa describes her intake process using genograms to map family patterns and roles. Negative Side of Healing & Family Reactions (00:20:24) Laura discusses how healing can disrupt family dynamics and lead to uncomfortable reactions. Discomfort and Growth in Healing (00:21:59) Alyssa explains why discomfort is part of growth and why families may resist change. Embracing All Emotions (00:23:11) Alyssa emphasizes the importance of feeling all emotions, including anger, for empowerment and boundary-setting. Therapy as a Safe Space (00:26:06) Laura and Alyssa discuss the value of therapy as a safe, validating environment for self-expression. Therapist's Emotional Labor (00:28:30) Alyssa reflects on the emotional demands of being a therapist and the risk of vicarious trauma. Healthy Relationships and Community (00:30:11) Laura shares how healing attracts healthier relationships and changes her social circle. Tips for Listeners: Embracing Discomfort & Self-Compassion (00:30:53) Alyssa offers advice on tolerating discomfort, managing expectations, and giving oneself grace during healing. Boundaries Metaphor: Home as Self (00:33:13) Alyssa introduces a metaphor comparing boundaries to managing your home and deciding who gets access. Self-Love as the Foundation (00:37:34) Alyssa and Laura discuss how self-love is the foundation for breaking patterns and setting boundaries. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Alyssa, "I did my own healing, went to therapy, and found the words and the space to explore what I was feeling, and that was so empowering for me because it changed my life." Alyssa, "You're always kind of working with that inner child that was not seen and not validated, and it's powerful to offer someone an experience they never had." Alyssa, "We have the internal boundary of being able to separate someone else's responses from how you view yourself and your own self-worth—it's like putting up a veil and not letting someone else's behavior pierce it." Alyssa, "We belong to ourselves long before we belong to anyone else." Alyssa, "The reason why those patterns and behaviors formed in the first place was out of a desire for connection and love, so it begins with deciding you are ...
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    41 mins
  • EP 75: Breaking the Trauma Bond: Taking Back Your Power

    EP 75: Breaking the Trauma Bond: Taking Back Your Power
    Apr 1 2026
    In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura shares her personal journey of healing after divorcing a narcissist. She explains the psychological and chemical roots of trauma bonding, the confusing emotions survivors face, and the challenges of breaking free. Laura offers practical steps for recovery, including going no contact, journaling, rebuilding identity, seeking support, and trauma-informed therapy. She emphasizes self-compassion and patience, reassuring listeners that healing is possible and encouraging them to reclaim their lives. Laura closes by inviting listeners to join her supportive community and reminding them they are not alone in their recovery. Key Topics & Timestamps Purpose of the Podcast & Sharing Stories (00:00:31) Emphasizes the importance of sharing difficult stories for collective healing, especially for women. Trigger Warning (00:01:13) Brief warning about potentially triggering content in the episode. Understanding Trauma Bonding (00:01:21) Laura describes her conflicting feelings after leaving her marriage and introduces the concept of trauma bonding. Personal Experience with Trauma Bond (00:02:31) Shares her emotional struggle post-divorce and the confusion of loving and hating her abuser. Intermittent Reinforcement & Abuse Dynamics (00:03:30) Explains how abusers use intermittent reinforcement to keep victims attached and feeling small. Shame and Staying Too Long (00:05:59) Discusses the shame survivors feel for staying and the psychological manipulation that keeps them in abusive relationships. Chemical Basis of Trauma Bond (00:06:59) Explains the brain chemistry behind trauma bonds and the need to rebuild positive chemicals after leaving. The Good Memory Trap (00:08:14) Warns against idealizing isolated good moments in abusive relationships and describes ongoing hypervigilance. Addiction to Hope & Beginning Healing (00:09:23) Clarifies that survivors are addicted to hope, not the abuser, and introduces the first healing steps. No Contact Rule (00:10:41) Stresses the importance of going no contact to break the trauma bond and protect oneself from manipulation. Practical Steps for No Contact (00:11:41) Shares her personal approach to no contact, including blocking on social media and handling mutual friends. No Contact in Co-Parenting & Boundaries (00:12:46) Advises on maintaining boundaries and low contact when full no contact isn't possible, especially with children. No Contact is Survival, Not Cruelty (00:13:49) Explains why staying friends with a narcissist is dangerous and reinforces that no contact is about survival. Journaling for Clarity (00:14:59) Recommends journaling to document abuse, validate experiences, and avoid romanticizing the past. Reconnecting with Identity & Dreams (00:16:02) Encourages rediscovering passions and rebuilding identity lost during the abusive relationship. Building a Support System (00:18:09) Highlights the importance of finding supportive communities and professionals for healing. Trauma-Informed Therapy & Somatic Healing (00:19:19) Advocates for trauma-informed therapy and somatic practices to heal both mind and body. Self-Compassion & Patience in Healing (00:20:44) Emphasizes self-kindness, patience, and the gradual nature of recovery from abuse. Breaking the Inner Voice of the Narcissist (00:22:05) Describes the process of reclaiming one's own thoughts and voice after leaving abuse. Encouragement & Final Thoughts (00:23:10) Offers reassurance about the healing journey, normalizes setbacks, and encourages persistence. Powerful Quotes from the Episode 'I also didn't know until I started to understand some things that you can actually have two opposing thoughts. You can actually hate somebody and love somebody at the same time.' 'So remember that you weren't addicted to him. You were addicted to the hope of the person he pretended to be.' 'No contact is not cruelty. It is survival.' 'You hating him and missing him at the same time does not make you weak. It makes you human.' 'The confusion is not a sign that you made a mistake leaving. It's a sign of how deep the bond went.' RESOURCES: GRAB THE TRAUMA BOND ACTION GUIDE: https://laurarichpodcast.systeme.io/trauma-bondCOACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlauraYOU'RE NOT CRAZY ebook: GET IT HEREMARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HEREJOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517 "You weren't addicted to the person—you were holding on to the hope. Healing begins when you choose yourself over that illusion." Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com Contact us for expert podcast production and support.
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    24 mins
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