In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, MaryAnn Michaelis LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, is joined by Dr. Karen Strange, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, for a deeply compassionate conversation about what happens when betrayal trauma shakes not only our relationships—but also our faith, identity, and sense of meaning.

Together, they explore the often unspoken spiritual impact of betrayal and the painful questions that arise in the “messy middle” of healing, including: Why did this happen? Can I still trust my higher power? What do I believe now?

For many betrayed partners, recovery is not just about rebuilding trust with a spouse—it can also involve deconstructing and reconstructing long-held beliefs about God, safety, purpose, and self-worth. This episode holds space for that complexity with gentleness, honesty, and hope.

• How betrayal trauma can impact faith and spiritual identity
• Why anger at a higher power is a common and valid response
• The experience of feeling “betrayed by God” or spiritually abandoned
• How trauma can destabilize beliefs about meaning, safety, and self
• The role of grief in spiritual deconstruction and reconstruction
• Why the “messy middle” of not knowing is part of healing
• How clients begin to rebuild their spiritual foundation after betrayal
• The connection between truth, lies, and identity after trauma
• What it means to find your “why” in the midst of suffering

• Writing a letter to your higher power to express grief, anger, and questions
• Allowing and honoring emotions instead of suppressing them
• Identifying and challenging internalized “lies” after betrayal
• Practicing self-compassion during identity disruption
• Reframing painful experiences through meaning-making and reflection
• Seeking safe relational support during deconstruction and healing

• Spiritual deconstruction and reconstruction
• Emotional honesty in faith crises
• Identity loss and rebuilding after betrayal trauma
• Meaning-making in suffering
• The importance of safe connection and support
• Hope in the “messy middle” of healing

MaryAnn and Dr. Strange emphasize that questioning, wrestling, and even feeling anger toward a higher power are not signs of failure—they are often part of a deeply human healing process. Over time, many individuals find that their faith is not necessarily destroyed, but transformed.

Healing is not linear, and you are not alone in the questions you are carrying.

• "Man's Search For Meaning," Viktor Frankl
• GABIS https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/Grief-scale
• Boundary Basics https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/boundary-basics
• Explore guided support and recovery tools: humanintimacy.com
• youtube.com/@human-intimacy

In this episode of Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal, MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined again by Dr. Kevin Skinner LMFT, CSAT, CPTT to continue the powerful conversation on boundaries—this time focusing on what happens after you set one.

Because the truth is… setting a boundary is only the beginning.

What happens when your partner pushes back? When fear floods in? When you’re not even sure you can follow through?

This episode steps into the emotional reality of holding boundaries—the discomfort, the fear, and the growth required to stay grounded in your values.

• Why boundaries must be rooted in your personal values (your “why”)
• The role of homeostasis—and why change in relationships feels so hard
• The difference between rigid vs. flexible boundaries
• Why you are allowed to change your mind as you learn and grow
• What it really means to follow through on a boundary
• How to handle pushback, resistance, or defensiveness
• The impact of shame filters in the betraying partner
• Why boundaries often trigger fear of loss and abandonment
• The importance of differentiation—holding onto yourself in the relationship
• How to stay grounded when you feel triggered, anxious, or dysregulated

• Boundaries are not about control—they are about self-alignment and safety
• If a boundary isn’t connected to your values, it will be difficult to maintain
• You don’t have to get it perfect—you need to stay aware and adaptable
• Discomfort is not a sign you’re doing it wrong—it’s often a sign of growth
• You can be both shaky and strong at the same time

Holding boundaries may bring up:

• Fear (“Will this end my relationship?”)
• Anxiety (“What if I can’t follow through?”)
• Confusion (“Am I doing this right?”)
• Grief (loss of identity, loss of what was)

This is normal.

You are learning a new way of being—like writing with your non-dominant hand.

• Define your boundary by asking: “What is my why?”
• Communicate clearly: “If X happens, I will respond by doing Y.”
• Prepare for resistance—it doesn’t mean the boundary is wrong
• Regulate yourself before having the conversation
• Build support systems (friends, therapists, safe people)
• Give yourself permission to adjust as you learn

Boundaries are only as strong as the work you’ve done within yourself.

And even when it feels uncomfortable, uncertain, or scary— you are allowed to take up space, have needs, and honor them.

• Dr. Kevin Skinner’s work on rebuilding after betrayal
• Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal
• Boundary Course at Human Intimacy: https://www.humanintimacy.com/link/9yNi7c?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.humanintimacy.com%2Fcourse%3Fcourseid%3Dboundary-basics
• www.youtube.com/human-intimacy
• Grief After Betrayal Impact Scale Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/Grief-scale

If this episode resonated with you, please help us reach others who may need support by liking and sharing it. You never know who needs to hear that they’re not alone.