You probably know what an ACE is. Adverse Childhood Experience. Trauma, instability, the things that happened to you that you didn't deserve and couldn't control. Researchers have spent decades documenting how those early experiences affect your brain, your nervous system, your relationships, and your health decades later.

But there's a side of that research that almost nobody talks about, and it may be the most hopeful thing I've ever read: the science of what protected you. Or would have. Or still can. There are seven specific childhood experiences, what researchers now call Positive Childhood Experiences or PCEs, that have been found to dramatically reduce the lifelong impact of adversity, even severe adversity. And the most important finding isn't just about kids. It's about you, right now.

In this episode, you're going to learn what those seven experiences are, how to figure out which ones were missing from your childhood, and most importantly, the research-backed ways adults can actually build what they didn't get.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/positive-childhood-experiences-healing-adults

Download the My PCE Profile, a self-assessment that walks you through each of the seven positive childhood experiences: https://abbymedcalf.com/pce-profile

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You snapped at your partner over something small, and you already know it wasn't really about that. You've gotten defensive with your mom, shut down with your boss, pulled away from a friend, and each time there's that same moment afterward where you think: why did I react like that? The shame of it is exhausting. And the confusing part is that you can't always explain it, even to yourself.

Today I'm giving you a new lens, not a replacement for everything you already know about yourself, but something more precise. Because there's a difference between knowing you got triggered and knowing exactly which need just got threatened. And that precision? It changes what you do next.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-overreact-in-relationships

Download the Need Threat Identifier: https://abbymedcalf.com/need-threat-identifier. It walks you through all three needs, what a threat to each one looks and feels like across different relationships, and the one question to ask yourself when you feel activated.

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

I've been quoted in both the Wall Street Journal and Women's Health about situationships, and I’ve been on countless radio broadcasts talking about situationships, so apparently, I’m an expert on this topic, but somehow I've never done an episode with a situationship focus. That changes right now. Today you'll learn why you can't leave, what your brain and your attachment history have to do with it, and what you need to start doing differently.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-cant-leave-a-situationship

Get the two-minute assessment: Am I in a Situationship? https://abbymedcalf.com/in-a-situationship

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You can be in a genuinely (or relatively) healthy relationship and still feel anxious. Your partner texts you back, they show up when they say they will, and they're not pulling away or playing games. And yet, you still find yourself overthinking their tone, needing reassurance, or waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you've ever thought, "Why do I feel insecure when nothing is actually wrong?" this episode is for you.

Today we're talking about why love can feel unsafe even when you're with a safe partner, what's happening in your brain when closeness starts to trigger anxiety, and why reassurance or better communication usually doesn't fix it for long.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-feel-insecure-in-a-healthy-relationship

Download Am I Actually Unsafe or Just Activated? A 2-minute nervous system check-in for relationship anxiety: https://abbymedcalf.com/unsafe-or-activated

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Do you ever feel like life is just constantly happening to you? Like, no matter how hard you try, you end up right back in that same exhausting place, feeling small, stuck, powerless, and like you're always the one getting the short end of the stick? If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "Why does this always happen to me?" or "Why are people always treating me this way?", you're in exactly the right place. Today I'm going to answer that question. Why you feel like a victim and why you feel powerless, where it comes from, and most importantly, what you can actually do to change it. We're going to get into the neuroscience, of course the childhood piece, and I'm going to give you concrete tools you can use starting today.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-always-feel-powerless-and-like-a-victim

Take the self-assessment: Am I Playing the Victim? https://abbymedcalf.com/playing-victim

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You’re a caring person. You show up. You give. You’d do just about anything for the people you love. So when someone suggests you might be codependent, it stings because, from where you’re standing, you’re just being a good person. But what if both things are true? Today I’m going to show you the difference between true compassion and fear-based helping, the sneakiest place codependency actually hides, four questions to tell which one you’re doing in real time, and five things to do the moment you catch yourself crossing that line.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-caring-people-are-often-codependent

Download The Compassion Check. It’s a quick self-quiz that helps you see in real time whether you’re giving from love or from fear: https://abbymedcalf.com/compassion-check

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

You know that feeling. You’re going about your day and, out of nowhere, they’re in your head again. You replay a conversation from three weeks ago. You check your phone even though you know you didn’t hear it buzz. You catch yourself spinning out a whole imaginary future and then, when they actually do text, the rush is so intense it’s almost physical. But when they go quiet? Or when you can’t tell how they feel about you? The whole thing somehow gets even more intense. Most people call that falling in love. But what if it isn’t?

Today we’re talking about limerence: what it actually is, how it’s different from love, how to know if you’re in it, and what to do if you are. Whether you’re single, partnered, or in a relationship and suddenly consumed by someone who isn’t your partner, this episode will give you the language and the clarity you’ve been missing.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerence-vs-love

Get the download: Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist: https://abbymedcalf.com/limerance-checklist

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

What if I told you that the most powerful thing you could do for your financial life has nothing to do with working harder, hustling more, or grinding until something breaks? What if the real shift is an inside job? Today, we're going to talk about the science and, yes, the spirit behind creating more money with less effort. And I promise you, by the end, whether you're a hard-nosed data person or someone who keeps crystals on your desk, there’s going to be something today to make you think differently about how to create more wealth in your life.

____________________________

Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-make-more-money-without-working-more

Get the free download: What's Really Driving Your Relationship with Money? https://abbymedcalf.com/money-relationship

Join my online community, One Love Collective, on Substack: https://abbymedcalf.com/substack.

You'll get...

✨ Early drops + ad-free podcast episodes

✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations

✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby

_________

Subscribe to the Love Letter and get my little messages each week!

https://abbymedcalf.com/loveletter-opt-in/

👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Easy and Joy: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries

👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass: https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube