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Parenting Autism and ADHD

Parenting Autism and ADHD

By: Cliff Kilmister
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Summary

 Parenting Autism and ADHD is a podcast designed to support parents and carers of children with autism, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and other neurodevelopmental challenges, as well as children struggling with school attendance, even if they haven’t yet been diagnosed. Each episode offers practical guidance on helping your child attend school with less stress, manage meltdowns, and navigate obstacles in the education system. Through expert advice, real-life stories, and actionable strategies, we aim to empower you to overcome school refusal, sensory sensitivities, and behavioural struggles with confidence. Our mission is to build a supportive community where parents and carers can connect, share experiences, and access the tools they need for their child’s success, while fostering collaboration between parents and teachers to create a strong, unified support system. Hygiene & Healthy Living Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships
Episodes
  • Embrace Your Inner Coach: Learning to Tap Into Your Winning Spirit with Tom Mitchell

    Embrace Your Inner Coach: Learning to Tap Into Your Winning Spirit with Tom Mitchell
    May 6 2026
    Today's guest shouldn't be here - and that's exactly why this episode matters. He felt like an impostor talking about neurodiversity because this isn't his specialty. But this isn't about labels or limitations. It's about what we can become in spite of them. Think about the last time you argued with yourself. That voice that says not good enough, don't mess this up. Today we're meeting it head on and learning how to answer it. Tom Mitchell spent 14 years with the Golden State Warriors as team psychologist, co-authored a bestselling book with Joe Montana, and helped elite athletes compete under pressure. He believes you already have a coach inside you. The question is — which voice is winning? EPISODE REVEALS Even high achievers beat themselves up. When anxiety or the ‘mind bully’ takes over, don’t pretend it’s not there. Notice it, move your body, talk to yourself differently, and remember that the wiser, steadier part of you is bigger than your mind bully that has temporarily taken control. You can’t argue neurodivergent anxiety away, but you can honour the fear, while also bringing attention back to what’s working. Your inner coach needs to talk to you as if you were a beloved friend or child. Pressure and fear don’t have to crush you. When you befriend them, they become fuel to step up rather than spiral down. Feedback hurts more when you live with rejection sensitivity but treating it as data for growth rather than proof that you’re broken transforms everything. Mistakes and missteps are not signs you’ve failed at life; they are simply a part of the dance in your parenting, performance, and neurodivergent journeys. BEST MOMENTS "Train yourself to catch yourself." "Sometimes the winning spirit isn't about talent. It's about refusing to let the wrong voice win." Tom Mitchell, Ph.D. – resources: Embrace Your Inner coach- https://www.amazon.co.uk/Embrace-Your-Inner-Coach-Strategies-ebook/dp/B0G362FDBD Winning Spirit with Joe Montana https://www.amazon.co.uk/Winning-Spirit-Principles-Performance-Excellence-ebook/dp/B06Y3XR1SN website: www.mvpperformance.com RESOURCES The Mandela Effect : https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mandela-Effect-Mind-Bending-Thriller-Multiverse-ebook/dp/B0DMPPDKV7 Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you - https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    51 mins
  • When Your Child Won’t Get Out of Bed: Anxiety, Avoidance, and the CALM Reset

    When Your Child Won’t Get Out of Bed: Anxiety, Avoidance, and the CALM Reset
    Apr 29 2026
    Does your child “just not get out of bed” for school? Maybe mornings dissolve into stand‑offs, shouting, threats of consequences… and yet nothing changes. You’re exhausted, they’re shut down, and everyone keeps telling you it’s “behaviour,” “laziness,” or “bad parenting.” In this solo episode, Cliff gently pulls back the curtain on what’s really happening for many autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent kids whose bodies simply can’t face the noise, crowds, and pressure of the school day. He explains why anxiety doesn’t always look like anxiety – it can look like refusal, silence, avoidance, or disappearing under the duvet – and why shouting only pushes them further into shutdown. Then, explains how his CALM approach breaks the negative cycle, helping your child and you. EPISODE REVEALS • What looks like won’t get up or lazy can actually be a child overwhelmed by sensory overload and anxiety. • Shouting at a shut down child doesn´t work. It simply adds to the overload. • What looks like refusal is quite possibly your child protecting themselves. Pausing and asking what they are protecting themselves from and using Cliff´s CALM method helps you to identify how to help your child. • Calm yourself first, acknowledge what’s happening, lower the pressure and model safety, then later reset with reflection, empathy, and conversation when the child’s system is ready. • Being empathetic and genuinely listening greatly improves communication, which is crucial. • Being soft and persistent as a parent can be more powerful and transformative than force or harshness. BEST MOMENTS "To the parent that doesn't know about this stuff, it can look like behaviour." "Is shouting actually helping, is it working?" "Empathise – that means listening." "Stay calm and be soft - It sounds like a weakness (but isn´t)." RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CALM reset episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/calm-first-reset-later-supporting-anxious-neurodivergent/id1810681675?i=1000762975674 The Tao Te Ching - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Tao-Ching-Classics-Lao-Tzu/dp/014044131X CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body doubling and step by step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    26 mins
  • Calm First, Reset Later: Supporting Anxious, Neurodivergent Kids After School

    Calm First, Reset Later: Supporting Anxious, Neurodivergent Kids After School
    Apr 22 2026
    Does your child come home from school, barely say a word, and vanish into their room? Maybe you get a grunt, “What’s for dinner?” and suddenly the whole house flips - doors slam, voices rise, and you’re wondering, “How did we get here again?” Most people will tell you it’s screen time, hormones, or “just teenagers.” But what if it’s not a behaviour problem at all—what if it’s anxiety and overload, especially for autistic, ADHD, and otherwise neurodivergent kids? Cliff unpacks what’s really going on after a long day of masking, noise, and social pressure, and shares his simple but powerful Calm–Reset framework. You’ll learn how to stop chasing behaviour, reset the environment, and become the calm nervous system your child can borrow from ,so there’s less conflict, fewer shutdowns, and more genuine connection, when they walk through the door. EPISODE REVEALS An after‑school “attitude problem” is often a nervous system at capacity from masking, noise, rules, and social pressure all day. Regulation starts with the adult: CALM (Calm yourself, Acknowledge them, Lower pressure, Model safety) lets your child borrow your nervous system instead of your words. Cliff shares practical ways to do this. RESET (Reflect, Exhale, Slow it down, Talk later) - Don’t try to teach in the heat of a meltdown - strike when the iron is cold. Cliff explains how to do this. Shifting from fixing your child to leading the environment reduces shutdowns and aggression and creates space for genuine connection. Simple, consistent signals e.g. how they walk up the drive, whether they go straight to their room first can alert you to how they are feeling. BEST MOMENTS “You don't fix the child. You change the state around them.” “Your child doesn't learn calm from what you say. They learn it from what they experience. They borrow your calm.” “Don't chase the behaviours, calm first - you first, then reset them later.” “We're not fixing, we're not correcting, we're resetting the moment, allowing them time and space, and letting them know that we understand.” RESOURCES What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR FamiSafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here - https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    26 mins
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