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There’s a version of love where the appearance of devotion masks self-abandonment, and the line between two people becomes blurred beyond all recognition. In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore one of the most widely used and misunderstood concepts in modern mental health lingo: codependency. Drawing from its roots in addiction research and clinical experience, they examine how a term originally used to describe patterns in families affected by substance use has expanded into something far broader—and is often used to mislabel normal human connection as pathology. Christopher and Kenyon clarify the difference between healthy interdependence and true codependency, which they define as a pattern in which your sense of self, emotional stability, and worth become organized around managing, fixing, or controlling another person. The conversation explores how this shows up internally—from hypervigilance and guilt to losing touch with your own needs—and how these patterns often begin as adaptive responses to unstable environments. The episode also offers practical, compassionate guidance for shifting the pattern so you can reconnect with your own internal experience, practice detachment with love, and care for someone without losing yourself.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

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Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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What if the problem isn’t just what’s happening in your relationships, but how those relationships are shaping your sense of reality? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW break down one of the most overused and misunderstood terms in modern mental health language: gaslighting. Drawing from clinical experience and real-world dynamics, they explore how gaslighting is not a single disagreement or difference in memory, but a sustained pattern of manipulation designed to erode your trust in your own perception, judgment, and reality. Christopher and Kenyon unpack why the term has exploded culturally—highlighting both the relief it has given survivors and the confusion created by its overuse—while offering a clear, grounded definition that separates true gaslighting from everyday conflict, defensiveness, lying, or miscommunication. The conversation delves into the lived experience of gaslighting—from chronic self-doubt and emotional fog to the subtle ways people begin shrinking, second-guessing, and outsourcing their reality to someone else. It also examines where gaslighting shows up most often, including romantic relationships, families, workplaces, and even within oneself through patterns of self-invalidation. Most importantly, this episode offers practical, compassionate guidance for recognizing patterns, re-anchoring your reality, testing relational safety, and making decisions that support your emotional well-being—all while empowering you to reclaim your internal authority.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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What happens when a word meant to describe something specific becomes the language we use for everything? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the cultural overuse of the word “trauma” and why that shift, while validating, can sometimes blur what people actually need. Drawing from clinical insight, they clarify that trauma is not just something painful, but something that overwhelms the nervous system’s ability to process in real time—often leaving the body reacting as if the event is still happening. Christopher and Kenyon break down key distinctions between single-incident, complex, and vicarious trauma, along with the spectrum of “Big T” and “little t” traumatic experiences—while also examining the risks of overidentifying with trauma as a fixed identity or applying it to ordinary human pain like grief or disappointment. The conversation highlights how unprocessed trauma shows up through reactivity, avoidance, and disconnection, and why real healing often requires body-based approaches, relational safety, and careful pacing—not just talking about the past. At its core, this episode is about precision, not gatekeeping—because when we can accurately name what happened to us, we have a better chance of finding the kind of support that actually helps.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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What if the thing you’ve been calling a boundary is actually pushing you further away from the connection you’re craving? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW unpack the cultural confusion around boundaries—challenging the popular idea that “having boundaries” means cutting people off, shutting down, or building emotional walls. Instead, they reframe boundaries as something far more dynamic: a form of communication that helps regulate what we give and receive in relationships. Drawing from clinical insight and lived experience, they explore the difference between reacting and responding, and how true boundaries are rooted in self-awareness, not control over others. The conversation breaks down different types of boundaries—physical, emotional, mental, and even temporal—while examining how trauma, anxiety, and "social media therapy" can distort our understanding of safety and threat. They also address the discomfort that comes with setting boundaries, including guilt, people-pleasing withdrawal, and the ongoing need to reinforce them with compassion rather than rigidity. At its core, this episode invites listeners to move away from black-and-white thinking and toward something more human: flexible, thoughtful boundaries that create space not just for protection, but for connection.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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What if the most painful belief you carry isn’t about what you’ve done, but who you are? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the often misunderstood and deeply isolating experience of shame—separating it from guilt to reveal how differently it lives in the body and shapes our behavior. While guilt can motivate repair, shame tends to drive hiding, shrinking, and disconnection. Through clinical and personal examples, Christopher and Kenyon unpack how shame is learned through early experiences of emotional invalidation—and how it quietly shows up in adulthood through people-pleasing, perfectionism, humor as defense, and even rage or withdrawal. The conversation examines the hidden cost of carrying shame, including chronic loneliness, self-abandonment, and the fear that being truly known would lead to rejection. It also offers grounded, practical ways to begin loosening shame’s grip—from naming it in safe relationships to reconnecting with the body and embracing our shared humanity. At its core, this episode is an invitation to step out of secrecy and into connection, which is where shame begins to lose its power.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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What if your kindness isn’t kindness at all, but a survival strategy? In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW unpack the often-overlooked link between the trauma response of fawning and people-pleasing by reframing the habit of saying “yes” as a survival mechanism rather than a personality trait. Together, they explore how the fawn response develops as a way to stay safe—appeasing others to avoid danger, conflict, rejection, or loss—and how that pattern can quietly take over our relationships, jobs, and identity. From staying in relationships too long to overextending at work, Christopher and Kenyon connect the dots between fear, early conditioning, and the compulsive need for validation while breaking down the four distinct types of people-pleasers. They also examine the emotional and physical toll of chronic self-abandonment, including resentment, anxiety, and stress held in the body. At its core, this episode is an invitation to recognize the fears that drive most people-pleasing—and to begin the work of reclaiming your boundaries, your voice, and your sense of self.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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In this episode of Lumen, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW explore the powerful connection between movement and mental health. What begins as a conversation about running quickly expands into a deeper look at how physical activity, sleep, hydration, and nutrition shape emotional well-being. Drawing from both clinical experience and insights from Harvard metabolic health advocate Dr. Chris Palmer, they challenge the idea that mental health exists only in the mind—introducing a more integrated view of brain and body. From winter stagnation and “freeze mode” to the cultural pressure to overwork and under-rest, Christopher and Kenyon unpack how disconnection from the body can quietly fuel anxiety, depression, and a loss of motivation. The conversation also explores how neglecting our basic needs can erode confidence, strain relationships, and limit our ability to feel present in our own lives. Rather than offering extreme solutions, Christopher and Kenyon return to something more fundamental: the small, consistent choices that help regulate the nervous system and restore a sense of balance. At its core, this episode is a reminder that we are not machines built for constant output. We are human beings who require movement, rest, and connection to function. Because sometimes the path out of a mental spiral isn’t more thinking. Sometimes it’s as simple, and as difficult, as getting up and moving.

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.

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In Part Two of this two-part conversation, hosts Christopher Mooney, LCSW and Kenyon Phillips, LMSW continue their dialogue with grief, loss, and bereavement therapist and Fordham University professor Kat Hurley, LCSW—exploring what grief actually looks like in the mind, body, and daily life. Kat shares powerful ways of understanding loss, including the idea that grief doesn’t shrink over time and that the real work of grief is learning how to carry it. The conversation expands into grief literacy, and unpacking the emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms—like brain fog, irritability, exhaustion, and dissociation—that often make grieving people feel like they’re “going crazy." Along the way, they explore concepts like anticipatory grief, disenfranchised grief, and ambiguous loss—forms of grief that often go unrecognized or unsupported. Ultimately, this episode invites listeners to rethink their relationship with loss and mortality by reminding us that confronting grief can deepen our compassion, clarify what matters most, and help us live more fully while we’re here.

To learn more about Kat Hurley, LCSW, visit the Alis Volat Propriis Place website and connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

Four book titles that Kat recommends in this episode for people facing grief, loss, and bereavement:
Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD
It’s OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine, LPC
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller
Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe by Laura Lynne Jackson

To book a free consultation with Christopher, Kenyon, or the other providers at Lumen Therapy Collective, visit lumentherapycollective.com.

Follow Lumen on Instagram: @lumen_therapy_collective

Subscribe, share, and review Lumen on your favorite podcast platform!

Lumen is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. If you’re experiencing a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services or a trusted mental health professional.