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How much of our adult relationships are shaped by the families we grew up in?

Fiona Yassin, psychotherapist and Founder of The Wave Clinic, joins Abdullah Boulad, Founder and CEO of THE BALANCE Rehab Clinic, for a grounded conversation on how early family experiences continue to influence the way we relate, communicate, and navigate relationships later in life.

In this episode, Fiona shares personal reflections on childhood trauma, family secrecy, and the path that led her to psychotherapy. Together, they explore how trauma shapes family dynamics, the role of recovery in therapeutic work, and the model of Family Emotional Governance she developed to better understand complex family systems.

The conversation moves into the realities couples and families face today; communication breakdowns, cultural differences, expectations in relationships, and the pressures of modern life. They also discuss practical tools such as reflective listening, the role of transparency in families, and how individuals can build healthier, more conscious relationships over time.

This episode offers a thoughtful perspective on family systems, emotional patterns, and the work required to create lasting change.

About Fiona: She is the founder and clinical director at The Wave Clinic. She is a U.K. and internationally registered Psychotherapist and Accredited Clinical Supervisor (U.K. and UNCG). Fiona is EMDR trained (EMDRIA) and a practicing Trauma therapist.

00:00:00 - Childhood Trauma, Family Secrets & Early Life
00:01:11 - Motivation to Become a Therapist & Path to Healing
00:07:07 - Trauma’s Impact on Family Dynamics & Secrecy
00:09:23 - Entering Recovery & Early Therapeutic Work
00:10:52 - Recovery’s Influence on Therapy Practice & Approach
00:12:57 - Developing a Unique Model: Family Emotional Governance
00:15:56 - Case Study: Cultural Clashes, Loneliness & Infidelity
00:19:18 - High-Stakes Family Crises & Intensive Interventions
00:22:23 - Communication Breakdowns & Emotional Disconnection
00:24:29 - Premarital Preparation & Understanding Family Backgrounds
00:27:51 - Cultural Differences & Equality in Relationships
00:30:07 - Individual vs Joint Therapy Approaches in Couples Work
00:31:38 - Transparency, Secrets & Family Constellation Work
00:36:14 - Gender Differences in Communication & Misunderstandings
00:38:13 - Reflective Listening & Practical Communication Skills
00:42:43 - Validation, Attention & Pressures of Modern Family Life
00:45:04 - Swipe Culture vs Commitment & Value of Relationships
00:47:49 - Managing Expectations & Embracing Imperfection
00:51:21 - Self-Reflection, Growth & Lifelong Personal Development
00:56:49 - Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships & When to Walk Away

Follow Abdullah Boulad:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/abdullahboulad/
https://www.instagram.com/abdullahboulad/

Follow Fiona Yassin:
https://fionayassin.com/

You can order Abdullah’s books here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BC9S5TCF?ccs_id=c64f2588-7eb1-4592-b4d1-647a0f379b51

Follow THE BALANCE Rehab Clinic:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/thebalancerehabclinic/
https://www.instagram.com/thebalancerehabclinic/

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Family dynamics shape far more than we often realise. What is left unspoken, carried in silence, or hidden within a family system can continue to influence relationships, behaviour, and emotional patterns across generations.

In many cases, people are not only responding to the present moment, but to histories that were never fully understood or expressed.

In this episode of Living a Life in Balance, Abdullah Boulad is joined by Caroline Curtis Dolby for a grounded conversation on trauma, family systems, and the realities of relationships.

Topics explored in this conversation include:

• How early trauma, addiction, and secrecy shape family systems
• Why people within the same family respond differently to the same experiences
• The role of lived experience in shaping therapeutic work
• Family Emotional Governance® and working with families as a system
• Communication breakdown in couples and the impact of unspoken issues
• Cultural differences and how they influence relationships
• Why many couples operate as individuals instead of a partnership
• Common relationship challenges including addiction, affairs, and conflict
• What healthy relationships are built on: respect, loyalty, communication, and support
• Why marriage requires responsibility and long-term commitment
• The role of family rituals, shared time, and structure
• The importance of continued self-awareness and personal growth

This conversation offers a thoughtful perspective on relationships, not as something to perfect, but as something to understand, work through, and take responsibility for over time.

About Caroline: London-based psychotherapist and founder of Belgravia Therapy, with extensive experience working with individuals, couples, and families. She specialises in complex family dynamics, including high-conflict divorce and parental alienation, and is also experienced in trauma and addiction.

00:00:00 – Childhood Trauma, Family Secrets & Addiction
00:01:11 – How Trauma Shaped Her Path to Therapy
00:07:07 – Why Family Members Experience Trauma Differently
00:09:23 – Recovery, Addiction & Early Work in Therapy
00:10:52 – How Personal Recovery Shapes a Therapist
00:12:57 – Family Emotional Governance® Explained
00:15:56 – Relationship Crisis: Loneliness, Control & Infidelity
00:19:18 – High-Conflict Families: Addiction, Gambling & Risk
00:22:23 – Why Communication Breaks Down in Relationships
00:24:29 – Why Couples Should Do Therapy Before Marriage
00:27:51 – Cultural Differences & Relationship Conflict
00:30:07 – Why Couples Need Individual + Joint Therapy
00:31:38 – The Impact of Secrets & Hidden Family Histories

00:36:14 – Men vs Women: Communication Differences Explained
00:38:13 – How to Actually Listen in a Relationship
00:42:43 – Validation, Pressure & Modern Relationship Stress
00:45:04 – “Throwaway Culture” & Why Relationships Fail
00:47:49 – Expectations vs Reality in Relationships
00:53:26 – Marriage: Commitment, Reality & Misconceptions
00:56:49 – Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships: Key Signs

Follow Abdullah Boulad:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/abdullahboulad/

Follow Caroline Curtis:
https://www.instagram.com/lurleenshoo/

You can order Abdullah’s books here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BC9S5TCF?ccs_id=c64f2588-7eb1-4592-b4d1-647a0f379b51

Follow THE BALANCE Rehab Clinic:
https://www.linkedin.com/company/thebalancerehabclinic/

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Chronic pain affects millions of people around the world. Yet many patients are still told that if scans look normal, the problem must be “in their head.”

In reality, chronic pain is far more complex. It involves the brain, the nervous system, emotional regulation, and the way the body responds to stress and trauma.

In this episode of Living a Life in Balance, Abdullah Boulad is joined by Dr. Mel Pohl for a deep conversation about chronic pain, addiction medicine, and the mind-body connection.

Drawing on decades of clinical experience, Dr. Pohl explains why traditional medical models often struggle to treat chronic pain effectively. The discussion explores how addiction medicine intersected with pain treatment during the opioid epidemic, and why a deeper understanding of the nervous system is essential for long-term recovery.

The conversation also examines how trauma, stress, loneliness, and emotional regulation influence pain perception. Dr. Pohl discusses the role of the vagus nerve, Polyvagal Theory, and why safety and co-regulation are critical factors in healing.

Rather than focusing on quick fixes, this episode looks at the gradual process of restoring balance within the nervous system and helping individuals regain agency over their lives.

Topics explored in this conversation include:

• The evolution of addiction treatment and lessons from the opioid crisis
• Why high-functioning professionals are not immune to addiction
• The relationship between chronic pain, trauma, and the nervous system
• How thoughts, stress, and attention shape the experience of pain
• Polyvagal Theory and the role of the vagus nerve in healing
• Why integrative approaches are changing how chronic pain is treated

This conversation offers a thoughtful perspective on one of the most misunderstood conditions in modern medicine.

About Dr. Mel Pohl: Dr. Mel is a physician specializing in addiction medicine and chronic pain treatment. With decades of clinical experience, his work focuses on the intersection between substance use disorders, pain management, and the nervous system, emphasizing integrative approaches that address both the biological and psychological dimensions of healing.

00:00:00 — Dr. Mel Pohl’s Path into Addiction Medicine
00:01:05 — Why Doctors Specialize in Addiction Treatment
00:01:29 — Early Addiction Treatment and Aversion Therapy
00:04:57 — The Opioid Epidemic and Chronic Pain
00:05:35 — Addiction Among High-Functioning Professionals
00:08:21 — Recovery Models and Alcoholics Anonymous
00:10:27 — The Evolution of Addiction Treatment
00:13:10 — Why There Are No Quick Fixes in Addiction Recovery
00:13:41 — Dr. Mel Pohl’s Personal Experience with Chronic Pain
00:16:06 — Why Back Surgery Often Fails Chronic Pain Patients
00:18:29 — What Chronic Pain Really Is
00:21:16 — How the Brain Influences Pain Perception
00:25:07 — Psychological Approaches to Chronic Pain
00:28:16 — The Vagus Nerve and Polyvagal Theory
00:32:29 — Trauma, Co-Regulation, and the Nervous System
00:34:28 — Placebo, Nocebo, and the Power of the Doctor-Patient Relationship
00:39:19 — Integrative Medicine and the Mind-Body Connection
00:42:50 — Self-Regulation Tools for Chronic Pain
00:49:18 — Trauma, Stress, and Chronic Pain
00:57:38 — The Future of Chronic Pain Treatment

Follow Abdullah Boulad:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/abdullahboulad/
https://www.instagram.com/abdullahboulad/

Follow Dr Mel Pohl:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mel-pohl-4b104914/

You can order Abdullah’s books here: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0BC9S5TCF?ccs_id=c64f2588-7eb1-4592-b4d1-647a0f379b51

Follow The Balance Rehab Clinic:
https://www.linkedin.