This week on The Sweet Hereafter, Jughead is a freak (again), Archie is the most special boy in the universe, Veronica and Betty uncover the Riverdale High Epstein Files, and Luna sings us a special little song.

Jughead's here and he's acting awfully spooky but really, what's new? We get all up in these losers' business, dropping some pretty solid analysis alongside even more of the goofs and gaffs you know and love us for. I really think we're at peak-form in this episode, so you can excuse the extra runtime. It's just value for money imo.

This might even be the greatest podcast on the planet. Metrics alone can't quantify our brilliance, but rest assured-- they're good. Watch out Joe Rogan: You're about to EXPERIENCE being dethroned by two beautiful transsexuals. Louis? Watch me Theroux my famous one-two punch. Like, with numbers on the internet. Not really. A lot of people say I have a bone to pick with the British, but I really don't. I love Parklife. C'mon. Couldn't be written anywhere else.

Sorry, start thinking about Riverdale now.

We're off to the races! Veronica wants to be Riverdale's new "it girl" but that spot is firmly taken by Cheryl Blossom, thank you. Kay and Luna go insane with excitement. It's finally time to begin the global cultural reappraisal of Riverdale.

Spooky music in intro courtesy of AtlasAudio on Pixabay