Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss. The Club No One Wants To Be A Part Of. Uncut with Irena Gilbert cover art

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss. The Club No One Wants To Be A Part Of. Uncut with Irena Gilbert

Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss. The Club No One Wants To Be A Part Of. Uncut with Irena Gilbert

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Back in 2020, we released an episode titled “Talking Miscarriage” where Laura spoke about experiencing not one but two miscarriages. It is an episode that people still message us every week about. Six years ago the topic of miscarriage was still pretty taboo, and it has changed slightly but it’s still an experience that leaves so many people feeling alone and grieving privately.Today’s guest has unfortunately experienced miscarriage a number of times. We first got to know Irena Gilbert on The Bachelor Australia back in 2020. After that final rose, her and Locky have gone on to get married and build a life together! Before welcoming their daughter Ava in February 2024, Irena experienced multiple miscarriages; her first in 2021, her second in 2023, and now another just 2 weeks ago. Today we're sitting down with Irena to talk about something that affects one in four pregnancies in Australia, and yet still so often goes unspoken, pregnancy loss. This conversation is not easy. But it is important, generous, and going to reach a lot of women who need to hear it. Irena brings something rare to this conversation: she is both a woman who has lived through pregnancy loss multiple times, and a nurse with over 15 years of experience caring for women going through the same thing. The gap between what she knew clinically and what she felt personally is something she speaks to with a lot of honesty. We chat: When Irena & Locky spoke about having kidsWhy their Covid-interrupted season actually gave them something most Bachelor couples never getHer first pregnancy loss and why she felt she wasn't "allowed" to grieve itHow the second miscarriageHow partners grieve differently, and why their pain gets left out of the conversationWhat miscarriage actually looks like physically The statistics: roughly 280–300 miscarriages happen in Australia every dayPregnancy after loss: why Irena couldn't let herself feel excited, couldn't take photos, and was still waiting for something to go wrong on the day Ava was bornHer third and most recent loss two weeks agoWhy this one hurt the most and what her obstetrician said that finally made sense of it"At least you have a healthy baby" - why well-meaning words can be the most dismissive thing you can sayWhy pregnancy loss and infertility are different experiences that don't need to be compared You can follow Irena on Instagram Free counselling is available from Red Nose Grief and Support Line Timestamps 0:00 — Intro2:20 — Bachelor 2020, meeting Locky, and talking kids on their very first date4:40 — The Covid season: why six months of phone calls gave them something most Bachelor couples never had6:40 — Going back to nursing after the show and why it kept her grounded8:30 — First pregnancy loss12:00 — Laura shares her own experience: the complicated feelings of an unplanned pregnancy lost13:40 — How the second miscarriage unlocked everything she'd buried from the first20:40 — How Locky processed it 23:05 — What miscarriage actually feels like physically29:25 — The statistics: 280–300 miscarriages a day in Australia, and that's only the ones that are known about30:00 — Pregnancy after loss: not allowing herself to get excited, not taking photos, waiting for something to go wrong35:20 — Why she struggled with social media pregnancy announcements and the joy she'll never fully have back36:00 — The third loss: two weeks ago38:20 — Why this one hurt the most: her obstetrician's explanation that finally made sense39:30 — "At least you've got a healthy baby" — why this is the most dismissive thing you can say, even when it comes from love43:10 — The grief Olympics: pregnancy loss and infertility aren't competing, they're both just really shit45:20 — Laura's experience of her second loss, and the complicated way miscarriage can clarify how much you want something49:20 — The shame hangover: why women of our mothers' generation stayed silent, and what that cost us53:20 — Her mum's stillbirth, growing up knowing about it, and being a rainbow baby herself54:05 — What she wants every woman who hears this to knowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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