Most people going through a divorce focus on what happens in the courtroom or mediation sessions. Very few stop to think about what happens behind the scenes, and that gap is costing them real money. The person who sees your case every single day, fields your calls, organizes your documents, tracks your deadlines, and watches how clients either help or hurt their own cases? That's your paralegal. And until now, she's never been on this show.

In this episode, Jaime Davis, board-certified family law attorney at Gailor Hunt, pulls back the curtain with her colleague Liz Morgan, a family law paralegal with more than 30 years of experience working exclusively in family law. Liz joined Gailor Hunt in January of 1996 and has spent her career managing complex property and support cases, handling large-scale document discovery, and building the trial presentations that help clients tell their story clearly in the courtroom.

Liz breaks down what paralegals actually do, why financial transparency is non-negotiable in North Carolina courts, and how client behavior, specifically disorganization, poor communication, and emotional decision-making, directly drives up legal fees. She also walks through the discovery process in plain language: why attorneys ask for so many documents, what they're looking for when they trace bank statements, and what happens when clients miss deadlines or delete digital evidence.

Key Takeaways

• Conflict for conflict's sake is expensive. Fighting over a $100 piece of furniture or credit card points will cost far more in attorney fees than the item is worth. Liz identifies unnecessary conflict as one of the top drivers of avoidable legal costs.

• Your documents need to be complete and organized from day one. Uploading a screenshot of an account balance or the first page of a statement is not enough. Liz explains exactly how to submit financial records in a way that saves significant processing time and fees.

• Deleting texts, emails, or social media posts during litigation can have serious legal consequences. Once litigation begins or is anticipated, clients have a duty to preserve all digital evidence. Courts view destruction of electronic evidence negatively, even when it is unintentional.

• There is no such thing as winning in a divorce. Liz outlines what the clients who navigate divorce most successfully have in common: they stay organized, they listen to their attorneys, they separate legal decisions from emotional reactions, and they focus on what life looks like when their divorce is over.

Liz Morgan is a family law paralegal at Gailor Hunt. To learn more or to connect with the Gailor Hunt team, visit divorceistough.com.

Follow A Year and a Day wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

For legal assistance in North Carolina, contact Gailor Hunt at divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

What if the goal of your divorce wasn't to win — but to make sure everyone could sit at a dinner table together a year from now for the sake of your kids?

In this episode, Jaime Davis sits down with Hannah Hembree Bell, founder of Hembree Bell Law Firm and creator of My Confident Divorce. Hannah built a multi-million-dollar family law practice rooted in a deceptively simple mission: help marriages end well. She describes herself as a recovering litigator — and for good reason. After navigating her own painful divorce and custody battle while putting herself through law school as a mother of three, Hannah didn't just survive the process. She rebuilt, and then she built a law firm so that she could be the attorney she desperately needed back then.

Hannah and Jaime get honest about one of the biggest misconceptions in family law: the idea that going to court means getting justice. As Hannah puts it, a client once told her that "the last place you go for justice is on the courthouse steps" — and after years in the courtroom, she couldn't agree more. The judge is not interested in your vindication. The judge is interested in your children's well-being and a decent application of the law. Understanding that from the beginning, Hannah explains, can reshape the entire divorce process. She and Jaime also discuss what it actually looks like to keep the main thing the main thing — even when the other party is committed to scorched earth litigation — and why the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Firm, and Friendly) is one of the most powerful tools a divorcing parent can have in their back pocket.

Key Takeaways

• Redefining the Win: If both parties leave mediation equally unhappy, that's probably the right result. If you feel like you got a slam dunk, that bodes poorly for your future co-parenting relationship — and your ex's ability to recover. A real win looks like dinner together with the kids a year later.
• Divorce Is a Tool, Not a Destination: A divorce is simply the legal mechanism by which you are no longer married. The real question is: what life are you running toward? Getting clear on that answer changes everything about how you move through the process.
• Bitter or Better — You Choose: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. How you react to your ex's latest move, how you show up for your kids, how you engage with the process — all of it is within your control, even when everything else feels like it isn't.
• You Deserve a Happy Life: Hannah's closing message is the one every woman in this process needs to hear. You are worthy because you exist. Not because you survived. Not because you white-knuckled it. Because you exist.

Learn more about Hannah's work and explore the My Confident Divorce program at HembreeBell.com

If you found this episode helpful, follow A Year and a Day wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

For legal assistance in North Carolina, contact Gailor Hunt at divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.

Divorce attorneys can tell you what to sign. Financial advisors can tell you what to keep. But who helps you understand what you're feeling — and why it's not going to feel this way forever?

In this episode, Jaime Davis sits down with Oona Metz, a nationally recognized psychotherapist with over 30 years of clinical experience and the author of Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. For the last 15 years, Oona has led weekly divorce support groups that have become a lifeline for women navigating one of life's most difficult transitions. Her work fills a gap that the legal and financial world simply cannot: the internal, emotional experience of ending a marriage.

Oona introduces her Five Phases of Divorce Grief — Heartbreak, Rollercoaster, Mending, Letting Go, and Moving On — and explains why these stages are not a straight line. She and Jaime discuss why women initiate divorce 70% of the time (and what that actually tells us), the critical difference between legally ending a marriage and emotionally leaving one, and why dating too soon can quietly derail both your healing and your legal case. Oona also makes a powerful case for reframing the language around divorce entirely — moving away from words like "failed marriage" and "broken family" and toward something more accurate: a family restructuring and a life transition.

Key Takeaways

• The Sunk Cost Fallacy in Marriage: Staying because you've already been there 20 years is not a strategy — and it's not the definition of success. A long, miserable marriage is not an achievement.
• Protecting Your Nervous System: When stress goes up, cognition goes down. Self-care during divorce is not a luxury — it's a prerequisite for making sound legal and financial decisions that will affect the rest of your life.
• The Elevator Speech: Have a short, truthful, privacy-protecting answer ready for people who ask about your divorce. Your feelings about your ex will change over time — what you say in the heat of the moment won't.
• Dating Post-Separation: A tender heart needs the same care as a broken arm. Jumping into a new relationship before doing the internal work means your needs won't get met — again. And from a legal standpoint, new relationships discovered mid-case can unravel settlements that took months to build.

Find Oona's book, Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women, and additional resources at OonaMetz.com.

If you found this episode helpful, follow A Year and a Day wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

For legal assistance in North Carolina, contact Gailor Hunt at divorceistough.com.

While the information presented is intended to provide you with general information to navigate divorce without destruction, this podcast is not legal advice. This information is specific to the law in North Carolina. If you have any questions before taking action, consult an attorney who is licensed in your state.