Sober Secure cover art

Sober Secure

An Attachment-Based Guide to Dating, Sex, and Love in Recovery

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Sober Secure

By: Nina Pick
Narrated by: Eleanor Caudill
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Pre-order Now for £14.26

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Summary

An attachment-first path to lasting recovery: build the love, safety, and belonging that keep you sober—and help your relationships thrive

Practical, body-based tools for dating, intimacy, and partnership in sobriety


Recovery isn’t just about staying sober—it’s about learning to love and be loved securely. Sober Secure reframes recovery through attachment, giving people in sobriety the practical tools to heal early relational wounds, regulate the nervous system, and create the connections that sustain a joyful, durable recovery.

Nina Pick, MA, integrative somatic counselor and author of The Mind-Body Guide to the Twelve Steps, draws on attachment science, polyvagal theory, and somatic therapy while honoring the strengths of Twelve Step communities. She offers vivid examples in clear language and step-by-step practices for navigating intimacy, conflict, and repair on Twelve Step and other recovery paths.

You’ll learn to:

  • Spot your attachment patterns and move toward earned secure attachment in recovery
  • Heal childhood and intergenerational attachment trauma
  • Regulate your nervous system with simple somatic tools that make connection feel safer
  • Trade isolating self-reliance for healthy interdependence without losing your agency
  • Date with pacing and clarity; cultivate pleasure and passion; and deepen partnership
  • Transform the chronic shame and "not-enough" beliefs that fuel isolation and relapse risk

Warm, accessible, and immediately useful, Sober Secure is a loving companion for building the safety, belonging, and embodied presence that let your sobriety—and your life—fully bloom.
Addiction & Recovery Love, Dating & Attraction Mental Health Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships

Critic reviews

"Wonderful and powerful.... This book offers a vision for a life of healing and grace to its readers while helping them stay connected to the Twelve Step culture that so many of us love and owe our lives to."
—DAN GRIFFIN, author of A Man's Way Through Relationships and A Man's Way Through the Twelve Steps

"A much-needed book for anyone who is in recovery and for anyone who cares about a person in recovery."
—IAN KERNER, PhD, LMFT, sex therapist and New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First

"An absolute wealth of information for healing our bodies, our minds, and our interactions with others."
—DR. BROOKE SCHELLER, doctor of clinical nutrition and author of How to Eat to Change How You Drink

"Nina Pick brings love, connection, and compassion to the complex process of substance abuse recovery."
—SUSAN MCCONNELL, senior trainer for the IFS Institute and author of Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy and The Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy Workbook

"Nina Pick, a relational somatics practitioner with a deep knowledge of recovery issues, updates traditional recovery principles with an emphasis on helping create a secure space for romantic and erotic intimacy. Sober Secure contains a wealth of resources for anyone in recovery who yearns to love and be loved."
—STEPHEN SNYDER, MD, author of Love Worth Making

"A courageous, compassionate reimagining of recovery as an act of love. With clarity and depth, it invites readers into a more embodied, relational healing, one that honors our earliest wounds and opens the heart to secure connection."
—OLIVIA BRYANT, founder of Self:Cervix
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