It’s another week of Married. Single. Divorced., and we’re all slowly melting in the heatwave while somehow finding ourselves discussing camping, scuba diving, car thefts and Costa Coffee crime investigations.

The Catch-Up ☀️

🥵 First things first: we are all absolutely feeling the heat.

🏕️ Fern has been living her best camping life. Despite briefly considering packing dumbbells for the trip (because apparently camping isn’t hard enough), she successfully hand-inflated her tent like it was 1997.

Luckily, she dodged the super storm and was rewarded with:

🔥 Campfires every night 🍡 “Mashmallows” roasted to perfection 👧 All the kids getting on beautifully 💦 And even a leap into the waterfalls

🌿 Larissa talks of finding algae in unexpected places (yes, the boobs) 👂 Water dribbling out of her ears for days 😰 And a healthy dose of nightly panic

Back on land, the house saga continues.

🏡 The kitchen is finally in. The utility room, however, has chosen violence.

We are pleased to announce:

🥂 Housewarming party: end of July.

Current plan? Bring your own chair.

💇‍♀️ Charlotte’s week has been a bit of a mixed bag.

She’s been dancing twice, had a fresh trim and enjoyed lunch at her favourite restaurant in Chorlton. Lovely. Then things escalated...

The Great Car Chase 🚔

Charlotte shares the absolutely insane story of her sister Alex’s car being stolen.

🚐 Next thing she’s tearing through the streets in a nightie and wellies, jumping into Dexter’s van to give chase.

The thieves clearly hadn’t planned for Alex.

At one point she’s racing after them shouting:

📍 “THE FUCKING CAR’S TRACKED!”

The police are involved.

Dexter’s dad joins the investigation.

Everyone is suddenly part of a Fast & Furious remake set in suburbia.

Meanwhile…

😴 Charlotte hears absolutely none of it and remains completely dead to the world.

The good news?

🚗 The car was found.

Alex remains understandably furious.

🚘 Charlotte also admits that if someone stole her battered Astra, it might actually solve a few problems.

Enter: Tea Leaf Tony

The thief in question?

👤 Tea Leaf Tony.

Unfortunately for Tony, none of the stolen items were worth anything.

💬 “Tony, you robbed my van last night.”

💬 “Don’t do it again Tony.”

💬 “I can’t flog it.”

An unusually polite crime story.

Robbery Stories We Somehow End Up Sharing

😳 Fern recalls being mugged and immediately handing everything over.

No heroics. No chase.

Just: 👉 “Here you go.”

Which, to be fair, feels sensible.

☕ Meanwhile Mike once believed he’d been robbed in town.

His phone had disappeared.

He urgently asked Larissa to lock it.

Location found:

📍 Costa Coffee.

The issue?

💬 “Mike wouldn’t go to Costa Coffee.”

Turns out… his phone would.

A chaotic episode featuring camping adventures, underwater panic attacks, police chases, Tea Leaf Tony and the ongoing miracle that Larissa’s house is nearly habitable.

As always, expect belly laughs, oversharing and proof that normal weeks simply don’t exist in our lives.

Follow, rate 5⭐️, and share with your besties - especially if you’ve ever chased car thieves in a nightie.

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