Please Remain Seated: This Will Only Take a Moment
A Terms and Conditions Novel
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3 Months Free
Please Remain Seated: This Will Only Take a Moment
Buy Now for £27.49
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Post
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By:
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Ralph Clayton
Please Remain Seated: This Will Only Take a Moment is a dark satirical novel about what happens after power stops shouting and starts waiting.
The world is not ending loudly. It is being corrected quietly.
Through a series of calm instructions, polite delays, and perfectly reasonable explanations, the audiobook follows a narrator who is no longer being chased, punished, or threatened — only managed. Violence still exists, but it no longer decides anything. Catastrophe becomes background noise. The real force at work is time stretched thin, urgency dissolved, and choice reduced to compliance through patience.
Told in a cold, controlled voice with sharp dark humor, the story exposes how people disappear not through force, but through schedules, queues, and soft reassignment. The longer you wait, the less there is to remove.
This is not a dystopia of chaos.
It is a manual for modern containment.
Bleak, funny, unsettling, and precise, Please Remain Seated is for listeners who appreciate Kafka-like deferral, procedural calm, and satire that cuts without raising its voice.
You are not in danger.
You are just early.
Please remain seated.
©2026 Ralph Clayton (P)2026 Ralph Clayton