In this intimate and unfiltered conversation, Maria Romano of Love and Legacy sits down with Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards, spiritual counselor, coach, and author of “The Venus Flytrap”, to unpack why we get pulled into toxic relationships—and how those experiences can become our greatest teachers.

Drawing from 20 years in spiritual counseling and personal development (including work with Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, and Wayne Dyer), along with his own intense “Venus Flytrap” relationship, Stephen explains why painful partnerships aren’t “mistakes” but assignments that reveal our patterns, wounds, and unmet needs.

Quotes:

• “You don’t have a relationship problem; you have a pattern problem. The person is just the physical representation of that pattern.”

• “There is no such thing as a wrong relationship—it’s the perfect relationship you needed at that time to show you what you had to heal.”

• “If you leave a toxic relationship without doing the inner work, you’ll meet the same person in a different body.”

Takeaways:

• Toxic relationships are teachers

They reveal your patterns, wounds, and unmet needs so you can heal.

• It’s a pattern problem, not a partner problem

Without inner work, you’ll keep attracting the same dynamic.

• Red flags show up fast

People reveal themselves early—your intuition usually knows.

• Toxic love is an addiction

The highs and lows mimic substance abuse, which is why it’s hard to leave.

Timestamps:

[0:00:00] Introduction to Stephen and The Venus Flytrap

[0:01:34] Stephen’s spiritual counseling background (Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer)

[0:02:52] “Happening for you” vs “to you” and pain as a teacher

[0:04:32] Victimhood, patterns, and repeating toxic relationships

[0:05:00] “Same person in a different body” when you don’t heal

[0:08:12] Maria on widowhood and re‑entering the dating world

[0:09:37] Generational differences, tech, and growing disconnection

[0:11:34] Commitment, the “gym membership” analogy, and real readiness

[0:12:14] Stephen’s “Venus Flytrap” story and early red flags

[0:15:00] Addiction, obsession, and losing yourself in toxic love

[0:16:04] Givers, takers, and the impossibility of “enough”

[0:16:27] Partner as mirror and becoming authentically yourself

[0:19:09] Fixing yourself first and changing who you attract

[0:19:37] Happily single, “unmarriageable,” and freedom as core value

[0:21:58] Maria on liking vs loving, and lessons from the pandemic

[0:24:34] Stephen’s upcoming books and toxic-relationship coaching focus

[0:26:16] Free chapters, explicit content warning, and consultation offer

[0:26:47] Maria’s closing: learn, share, and “always spread love”

Conclusion:

This episode with Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards is a candid, often provocative exploration of why we end up in toxic relationships—and how those very experiences can catalyze our deepest growth.

Through his “Venus Flytrap” story and decades of spiritual counseling, Stephen shows that painful relationships are rarely accidents. They mirror our patterns, expose where we abandon ourselves, and invite us to step out of victimhood into responsibility and healing.

Instead of pathologizing your past, Stephen asks you to reframe it as curriculum:

• 
  

• What was this relationship trying to teach me?

• What pattern was being reflected back to me?

• Who do I become if I stop running from my own truth?

Whether you’re currently in a toxic dynamic, recovering from one, or afraid of repeating old mistakes, this conversation offers both comfort and challenge: comfort in knowing you’re not alone or “crazy,” and challenge in recognizing that your healing—and your next chapter—begin the moment you decide to face your own patterns and tell the truth about who you are.

Your relationships may hurt you, but they can also wake you up. What you do with that awakening is where your real power—and your real legacy—begin